Friday, November 13, 2009

6:15 AM

It's funny when I looked inside of me and cry,looked outside of me and smile. I know I am strong enough to go through my life path that Allah had set for me. I thanked Allah for that because I am here in this world for a reason and I appreciate Allah for creating me. How much I hate my past was never a choice. But how much I hate 1/4 of me is not redundant. For the fact that O Levels were finally over was awesome. For instance, the quality time that I had with my friends was an absolute fun. Gradually, I will be working soon enough for me to kill my holidays and the things I had in mind. I may seem like a bubbly/cheeky/happy/crazy/asshole/stupid/madness/havocness/lameness/pathetic/ uncontrollable average type of female that never fails to keep someone laughing/smiling. Apparently,that was what someone close to me needs. When things get way otta control, I just hate to be the centre of everything. I hate it when people know about me. I hate it when people know that I'm good at stuff. And I hate it when people convinced people to know me. My closest babies/lovies/girls will know what kind I am. I have good morals and I understand things. More over, I am definetely weak in making promises. I don't Like you to have High Hopes/Awaits me. Because right not,at this moment the key to my heart is lost. My mindset is to enjoy/catch up with my friends. I am not fully committed in relationship. Yes, I love someone else. But what am I to do when the person I love don't hit me back. I have let it passed though. I've told you several times that don't get mad if you can't get me. Stay cool if I'm out with my friends. Why do I have to care about your wants but not mine. We're not even together and I can feel you threatening me. Yes, I understand things but am I really for you. Do I have it takes to be yours. Am I capable of your wants. The important thing is: Have you really know me Deep enough?
"Cinta ini bukan permainan.Tatkala kita boleh diperbodohkan.Tak ku sangka kau menghelakan api kemarahan pabila ku kegembiraan.Sukar bagiku untuk memilih dirimu kerna tak mungkin kita kan bersatu. Akan ku bereda dari halaman fikiranmu,kerna ku tak sanggup lagi bertemu. Hanya si Dia yang ku inginkan,kerna ku masih mengharapan. Namun bagaimana, tetapku teruskn dengan kehidupan. Kerna ini hanya satu cabaran. Kembalilah...."