SHAZAA

2011-02-19T02:18:00.000-08:00

Hey sayang, so much for this "pre-Military Love" I miss you a lot already. It's okay if we Haven't got to stare at one Another for Days, 'cause baby- You said that It'll be ridiculous for your Love for me to Just fade. You know so much how to convince my mind, my soul. &&that what makes me fall for you More. Your words now ain't just like those men, I trusted you even deeper. I believe in Us because boy, I like it when You're Protective. When we argued, then I cried, You know just How much what will make me Laugh. Then we laugh harder because we Look like kids! You're just the sexiest, because I wanna touch those Chest. Hahahahahahahahahahahaha. Boy handsome, I rindu you already la.

2011-02-16T16:03:00.000-08:00

I don't ask much for this Love because I was a little too afraid to throw you will all of my heart. But, I did. It don't matter if I don't get the things that I wanted you to give it to me. It don't matter when times a tough, I'm always the only one paying for everything. And it don't matter if I only get to see your smile once in seven days. Giving this Love it's own time to fly, this is what Our Love is all about. See Us grow- the fun, laughter, cries.. I care for this so much. I believe that one day, You'll be man that You've always dream and be the man whom your woman Needs. Yes, we're all so good now that I've stopped counting and it's already Nearing close to Half a Year. If only you could show me with money, baby.. That'll be in years to come! It's okay if you can't, yo need to make an effort like How I always do. I Love you Boo!

2011-02-03T09:08:00.000-08:00

My lips could Only pronounce, I Love You Rizal.

2011-01-31T22:34:00.000-08:00

Just for You.

There's always that one person that will always have your heart.

You'll never see it comin', 'cause you're blinded from the start.

Know that you're that one for me, it's clear for everyone to see.

Ooh baby, oh, You will Always be My Boo.

2011-01-27T20:51:00.000-08:00

Dear sayang, I miss you- A lot.

2011-01-20T05:09:00.000-08:00

Crazy over this? Nah. This is just the start of everything baby. I still have a long way to go 'cause yknow what they say. Yo don't need to rush this thing, it goes on if You could feel it's For-ever.

2011-01-16T22:18:00.000-08:00

Dear, I will always be with you.

2011-01-13T22:10:00.000-08:00

Just so yknow, everyone have their own interest/ passion or rather dreams to catch upon. Some are very good at doing things while others are struggling much on it. These are the people that are born special or should I say, others spent their efforts that are worth the struggle. But it's a pity how these people accept themselves as of who they are. Showing it off right in people's face lika bitch. That ain't right for others to appreciate what they are capable of. You should have sell yourself out instead of making others to ditch ya. Then we come down to the people with irrelevant remarks lika judge choosing their winner. I suppose if a person are good at doing things that interest their mind/ heart and what's more, the thing they do, color their world and make them feel good, wouldn't it be a gift that was sent from above just for them. Why would someone wants to trash 'em out just because you can't afford to own that kind of ability. I believe so much that it don't matter old or new technology, when one have the ability to do something while others are dying to be "one of them", slowly but surely the One is still able to come up with the thing that she do best. I would say that it's purely Nonsensical because you don't know how to accept the world of arts because otherwise, people would say that it's pure Jealousy. Personally, it don't matter how they person is dressed, be it she's a party goer or simply just a town girl or rather a party boy, it all goes on, how people who accept the way dress- Not to impress. Some goes to the rich bitches and rich dudes; I am capable of owning expensive items because I solely put my effort to earn 'em. Everyone have passion, well- plainly you are just conscious with your reality check that You don't have a Life, like Mine.

Very much indeed, what I live: Will never Be Yours.

2011-01-10T04:16:00.000-08:00

Others can have their pleasure to say what they want. Because for what I know, He's Mine. It don't matter what, for as long as this Love lasts for Trust. Others may still be in their "honeymoon" period. But I guess, mine doesn't though. A real grown up Love with full of Real adventurous, sweet loving Journey. Not just some movies, but it's more than that.

I Love yo.

2011-01-02T21:38:00.000-08:00

Dear Love,

I honestly never expect that we would have come this far to know each other. It started off with just a random call, but I thanked the One above for writing/leading me to the path that He has wrote for me. Anything and just everything could happen at any point of time. I know we've strive far to cross the boundaries with full of Love. From the bottom of my heart, I thanked you for accepting the way I am. Yes dear, I am aware that I may not be the perfect girl that any man desire. Strong as I am, I would accept rejections if it may happen, For I know I am no Better. We're doing ever so good that it felt like we've been years. I definitely forgotten the way I am because I was drown by your Love. I dare to swear for I know I have never received or being loved so much by a man whom I first thought would never be Mine. You changed to meaning of Love and you've sincerely opened up your heart to bring mine closer to yours. I feels so wonderful to be this close to you, Love. We don't mind if our hands or feet bumped into one another. We don't mind if we spent the whole day knowing that we're tired and have things to do the next morning. And We don't mind if we teased one another that made either One angry or Happy. But we Do mind if we don't see one another on Any day. But, the part of Our Journey is that We don't have to Worry about anything because I am secured and I know that I will always be in your Heart. Love, the best thing that I like about you is: You make me feel the Love that I had lost years ago and Only with You, I could feel that it's for Real. Your love slapped me hard on the chest to wake me Up, cause someone do care and (InsyaAllah) will Forever be with me.

You get annoyed when my dress is too low cut or too short and tight. Because you want to be the Only person that would have your eyes On me.

You get worried when I'm not with you- Because we are Always together everywhere.

You get cranky when I did not follow what you say- Because you Need me to spent the rest of my Life with Only You.

Lastly, you got your own Hair to stand up when I say "I need you, that's why I Love You."- Because Only you know How much you mean to me, no matter what Our differences are.

I'll stay down and got your back, for You- I'd do Anything.

Yours sincerely;

XOXO Shaza Andrea.

2011-01-01T23:21:00.000-08:00

I Love You.

2010-12-11T04:34:00.000-08:00

MILITARY LOVE AFFAIR.

Dear baby, I would Love you forever and always. I need you here with me, whatever we'd go do. I ain't asking for much but Just You to Love me. We're doing fine and yes, along the way We have got to stand up for Each other. And baby, I don't know how we both will be when We're so farrrrrrrrrrrrrrr from One another. Baby, You're training me to be strong and staying away from each other for days. Only god knows how much I miss you baby! We're so cute that I we're already talking about booking in/out. To tell you the truth, I ain't ready to battle this war. Because I know, I will always be thinking about it. And I always know that You will only see me in your eyes. Love you forever.

2010-11-23T05:18:00.000-08:00

One in a Million.

So this love have been going on like fifty somthing days and I've lost counting. I don't know how far this will go but I like it this way. It wouldn't be complete without me knowing that He'll be there with me, wherever I go; No matter what I do. Some may ditch about this Love, be jealous all you want. I don't give a damn thing. I can finally be sure that this is the kind of person that I want to keep- The Guy of my Dream. Though it's never perfect, this. Atleast He's the closest one ever the match my List. I don't ask much and Alhamdullilah He gave me Just the Perfect Change. I don't feel the hush to be confused or insecure about this Love. Well, I may speak too soon but it's been more than a hundred days that I found this baby. I love it simple, keep it cool. It's awesome, He played it well. You know how much I hate attention, well then I love it when I'm with him. I blushed everytime he steal stares at me without me knowing, his stares were too deep, I always had a hard time sleeping whenever I think about it. I simply love the way He speak, the way He make me understand and will always know no matter what, He Loves me and that It will only be Me. I know tumbled down real hard on the ground during the past. Well, if you know He's the person, well then. Everything Changes. The best thing that I feel so good about myself now is because, everything doesn't work On Him. Like the way I kept on texting just so that he knows I was thinking about him. But actually, it doesn't really work on him that much. Then the way I tried to ask from A-Z whenever he wants to go out. Well, it makes him feel like I'm him Mother. Plus the way I tried to be a whining girlfriend. Brahhh, that's even worse I'm pretty sure he got pissed and annoyed. I finally could see that there's no need for me to do all this. Because, he's the kind that I've been looking for and it matches my List. Damn right, this Love is so easy till I do not need to worry every now and then. I get it all the time that He loves me and there's no Other that could take Over Us. A very simple but romantic One indeed. Love babyboy :)

2010-11-13T07:33:00.000-08:00

I told You so. My dear love, I Love you and I miss you. Mwahhh hearts;hearts;hearts;

2010-11-06T02:36:00.000-07:00

Kay dah. I Love you, Pretty Boy.

2010-11-04T08:47:00.000-07:00

I call it; My Own

To anyone, this would be just meaningless. But think again, I feel just Fine. When we start to share stories, I was the least interested because I don't want to speak of the past. But I do know, for some reason it does affect Us sometimes but it only lasts for a few seconds. I give you my all, my Love and my Trust. You'd know what I do when you lose, right baby. I may sound pathetic or you may thought that I'm lying, baby If I Love you, I wouldn't have to hide. I know, deep down it maybe ridiculous for you to understand. Well baby, the least I want from you is to listen, acknowledge and forget. I hate to speak about the past because I felt stupid. For I know I don't deserve to put a fake smile, I know my Life, my personality and my attitude are for Someone who could appreaciate - Someone like you. As I look back, I struggled much but yet I stood up stronger each time. I would cry each night, thanking Allah for blessing me to have this kind of storyline. You found me, you picked me up just so that You could support me. I did not expect or would imagine that it will turn out this way. For I did not hope, because I know I was no way better than you could have imagined. Little did I know, you wasn't the typical ones. You are just an ordinary guy, who seeks Love and Trust, to feel appreciated and to show How much you would shower your girlfriend with Love. Today seems a little too personal, I can see it through your eyes. Bby, I Love you.

2010-10-30T08:28:00.000-07:00

He'd Knows what He's Been Looking for.

I know somehow or rather, It's very hard to believe. To be true, I am thankful to the one above for writing my Life with full of suffering and then make me feel proud of what I have as I take a step further. Life is Never easy, It Never Was. It's how you bring in down and step up to face reality. I am a challenger, I ain't got no fear to test my strength and weaknesses. I strongly believed that Everyone deserve to be happy. If you're not, start thinking why You haven't been treating Yourself Good. Love yourself and be proud about it before making someone to love you and make them proud of what they Owned. No one was born perfect, I lead a life- I carry most of fats with me. Though it weigh sometimes less, sometimes more, I am proud and Happy with the way I am. Because I do know, Allah create His fellow Humans to find their own Partner. I know I am for someone, insyaallah, He is the one for Me. I never thought I'd would be this close with someone that qualifies my List. I am just grateful and enlightened. It's like though I've Known you for Years, baby.

2010-10-26T05:29:00.000-07:00

Feels Different; You here.

It feels so much simpler, precise. I want to bow down and be proud of it. I have everything, perhaps perfection. With you, I struggled much wanting to feel if this is for real. I did always everything that I've done months ago. Ironically, it doesn't work on you. To be true, I am happy and relieved that I do not need to go through it too. It feels like floating on air, gazing the clear blue skies and your warmth, It nailed on me each time. I don't know how to do this baby, I don't know what I'd do without you. Come together, I Love you.

2010-10-21T01:16:00.000-07:00

Heart Racing;

There were so many things to touch on that I forgot to reflect on the things that I have learnt. School was awesome and no doubt I enjoyed my day from Monday to Friday. Despite the long awesome hours which make me tired, I still have a wonderful time with my new found classmates. Well, I have a lot of things to catch up with my friends. I have too many and sometimes I neglect them, what's more. My mum seems to have ageing problem and she bugs the whole family almost everyday. It irritates me whenever I came home. I rather be away so that I can rest well without any noise pollution. This is what you get when the whole family are educators. Brahhh. Recently, I've seen so many problems, all kinds of them. It's sad to see someone cry when they're not a fault. I have a thing for all this people, they make me shine. I just understand that things happened for a reason. Coincidently or not, All this were already written and we need to be strong to accept what's there infront of us. The more you think that you're cursed/not good enough or useless. No doubt that you havent been reciting prayers or saying "Thank You Allah". Good or bad, these were all written even before you're born, decades ago. Yes, it's hard for you to accept, but Hey, if You're a Muslim you should know how to react and what to do next. People have different beliefs, no doubt you're confused and got carried away. Because I care less, that is why I did not make a move. Because why, you shy away and got mad when You got knocked down real hard. I tell you, I think things throughly, not for the sake of being mad or to show the whole world. I should be the one saying things like: You, yourslef need to think real deep because no doubt I am not compatible with You because my level of thinking is up there. But you're only there to make a stand, of course I will never fight with you. For I know, I think specifically. Too much of you, I am laughing my ass off because you're making a huge mistake to bring back the pass which you Never have thought who made it Up. Then again, I thought I could make it through, but I felt the urge to back down. I feel safe and secure with you. You make like I'm the only girl in this World. I drooled each time I feel a twitch in me, I could smile for the whole entire day. Well baby, I feel like I've known you for years. No doubt that I am the only One. Loves

2010-10-14T06:37:00.000-07:00

Versus Me, You're not Qualified.

It's been an awesome holiday break and I swear not even a day wasted. Putting aside all the sweet memories and the fun time I had with those that I went out with. The past, let it be and don't bring it back. It's hard though, but you need to be stronger than anyone else and need to think what's best for you. People tend to see me being happy all the time. That's because everyone deserve to be Happy. I hide things which I think maybe redundant for people to see. Let alone just me to feel how pain it is. I always pray for your well being, hope that you'll be alright and safe from dangers that may come upon you. Never once, I regret having you. You know how honest and outspoken and open I am right? I hate you for all the things you did to destroy my name just because you see me happy. I hate the way you critized the one you Once Loved so much before. To round things up, individuals are having different thoughts about me and I feel so disappointed. Like, "What a waste, I thought that all of You were good people." Yes, I blame you for not thinking what we have before. I know, you were confused with your thoughts. For I was seeing someone else, You want to make me Look so bad. I understand the feeling, I've been through the Worst, boy. Don't bring this thing back, for it was meant to be left untouched. Drama all over my face, I don't care. These people they don't think, why so mad now when At the First place You brought it up. I only spoke once, don't make me look for you. Anyway, thanks for the things we both did together, I'll keep them safe and not a secret being let out because I Love you before. A true Love does this and Never let it all out. I just shook my head seeing the most childish thing happening one arms length from my eyes. You can't accept what others are saying? Grow up please, when are gonna stop standing and not think deep enough about what people just said to You. People like you, will not have true friends. You Only Think You have, little did You know, Plastic faces were all for You. No one is good enough or rather knows everything or been through everything at this young age. I'm glad my mother send me to school to learn and I'm honoured to gain more knowledge about Life. Lastly, don't ever try to please yourself with words or into the mood of what You're feeling. It destroy you. Waste of time to entertain people like you, because you'll end up in "Circular Reasoning." Thank you Allah, for blessing my Life with full of respect for others and Helping them to Realise how a small childish thing did not even Affect me at Once. From there, they will start to get angryon how meaningful my sentences make sense and tryna contradict things resulting to them ditching about the whole situation again. Amin.

2010-10-07T01:27:00.000-07:00

For You, I choose.

It's incredible just to see what You have become. I never thought that I would be part of it, I'm honoured. Many may not have known, but I'm sure they're be surprised and I know for sure they'll put up a smile. I know just how much this all means, it meant much to someone like Me, someone like You. Feeling strong and tall, I feel your presence, I feel you, everything. It all falls into place, I don't want it like no Other. You know, deep down.. I have a lot to share with You. There's just so many things to say, I want to tell you and I want you to know too. You see, I'm very afraid of this world. A whole new thing that I'm going through yet again, yeah who doesn't feel happy about it? But then, there's always What if(s).. But hell No, you make everything stop. I can see where this is going nor am I hoping for it. I just knew it, sometimes it's crazy but I Love having to go through all the exciting adventures with You. I thanked Allah for having me here and I thanked him again for replying my prayers. I don't ask much, but just to a joyful happiness though the ends may not be pleasing. I am grateful to everthing that he have shown me, a school that I can continue learning, a result that I am most satisfied and pleased with, a passion that will Longed die for, an inspiration that I have carried out as one of the generation, a family that Love and care for the most and a man that I wished will forever be there for as Long as Allah allows. Amin.

2010-10-04T07:06:00.000-07:00

Big Shots.

Raya has finally come to an end but however, Everyday to me is like Raya already. School holidays will soon end and I must say my two months of freeawesomeday was nt a single bit wasted. Unfortunately, it was preoccupied will full of dramas that I'm seeing which I've seen in previous years and from different people. "Just the same old thing." I will never affect me because I'm strong and I know what to do when One failed to stand up. Whatever it is, this Life is Awesome and I don't want it like No Other. I love this Life and I'm learning much at Eighteen. Good things come and go but bad things will just stay. BRAHHH. Future activities planned will be an Awesome one and I can't wait for Bali. Like Finally =)) Wahhh, I Love being Eighteen and I have so much opportunites. It's not not bad afterall, throw One and look at How many more Came after Me. I'm Loving this much. Do check my photoblog and it's six more days to His day. BRAHHHHHH.

2010-10-02T07:47:00.000-07:00

Binget Nampak, Kata Releks.

Say all you wanna say because for sure You'll never Like to see me Happy. Thanks anyway, it's not a huge Mayhem that You've created but it's just a tiny little very little sparks.

When people can't accept their own reality state, people tend to act like annoying small kids and brag much about it. Tell me who, and say the word Allah. Do you dare to curse me? Say what, and get paranoid. I'll say that I'm awesome, because Allah made me to have a special ability. I'm not perfect, but I am special. I am fat, but still there's Allah's creation that Love me. You are Pretty, I must say. But too bad, you're too skinny. Everyone have their own advantage and disadvantage. But still, why look at it on the wrong perspective? Why so upset about a small thing? Ohh I forgot, you haven't grow up. Your mind is still working on small things. Then again, it's the past. Why brag and not accept it. Don't it make like you, being the same as Him? Hypocrite; All of You are. Najib, you know what you talked about behind your Own friends back when We were together. Uhmm your Own classmates? Nadhrah, you know what you shared about Najib with me when I was having problems with my relationship back then? I was the centre person, remember? To think that you messed up my story, this is just a simple thing. You guys don't know me that well and I can forgive what You just did. But how can you forgive one another? You guys are seriously in a huge mess. And I must say that you got yourself into a bigger mess. I don't die or gain anything because I'm already out and I swear you guys are Not the Hottest topic that I wanna share to people. For what, wanna share about this boring story? Don't make it a point to brag so much, because You'll get jealous and then start to pick on me again and again. Now, start thinking if this is going alright. Because I'm not atleast Mad or angry or fuck...whatever. This is plain stupid and I'm laughing my ass off because you are acting so childish and never think as an Young Teenager. Wahhhh, I wish I could say what Each and Everyone one of You ditch About One another. But I guess, You better find out from the Person's mouth, rather than I would want to trash them Out.

Because Now, the Problem is, between all of You. I don't wish to put my hands in your mess. To think that I'm scarying you off or just tryna play she'sjustkiddingandsokentalfikirakugoyang. Well, I'm not. I'm Nurshazana, Cahaya Keharuman. I don't play childish games, I'm straight up and I dare you to speak up. A meeting, not a kental Facebooking.

***Ini lahh Kawan, kawan aku semua chill, relax. Ini lahh kawan kau, yang semuanya berbual belakang. Kawan makan kawan.

2010-09-28T05:49:00.000-07:00

Guided, Secure.

I rather say that I'm on the right track, finding ways to be myself and feel Happy about something. Though I may achieved something ever so wonderful, I know there's always someone who would be there watching me from far to share the moment. I never knew that it would end up like this, I wish I could tell the world. But, let's just say there's nothing for Now. I could feel you every place that I'd passed, thank You. I culd have just slipped it away, but I rather Not. You're the best Thing that's Ever Mine.

2010-09-25T01:03:00.000-07:00

BRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Heyy Beast, I'm gonna Miss you lahhh. Take care okayyy. RAWWWRRRRR.

2010-09-25T00:38:00.001-07:00

Life's no Other.

Here's the twitch, I was on a date at Sentosa when Jimbo approached the both of Us. Like whatthefuck. Are you otta your mind? I swear I was shocked but I was laughing inside. First, it was unexpected and the second was Funny. Why would you still have the guts to approach me and wants to talk things out, for what reason? It's pointless and useless, I fvcking swear. You just made yourself look like a moron infront of my date and the person that I'm gonna see often nowdays. Furthermore, your friends were there, why decide to come to me and talk? You are weak, I swear you just made the wrong move. Now I fvcking know everyone is laughing at You not with you. Because "kau bodoh Jib." I don't give a shit of what they have to say, because I know We're so over that I can choose to do whatever I want and with whom I want to. Word is Move On, whatthefuck are you waiting for. Nuff said lahhhhhhhhhh.

2010-09-19T09:26:00.000-07:00

I can See Love.

Jalan raya with Evgians was totally Awesome. Updates on Facebook soon and this is what I call Love. Tonight Imma be a Bitch and start bitching much about alot of thang. If you ain't happy or felt the pinch on your skin, well, You are one of them that I'm talking about. Perhaps, I am not a single bit Like You.

See how dissappointed people are when Once being crashed, it's funny to see their Next move. Searching super duper High and Low for the Next one. I just wondered why it have got to be so ultra fast that people who think like me, will have the same reaction. DESPERADO. Losers like you are the best people to laugh at, because your godgiven brain is placed at your godgiven ass. Am I right to say that You never change? More chickies than the last time, Like Ohh My Goddd. Isn't it obvious much that you're tryna get a Life like me? Damn right I'm Awesome because I have scars that heals, I have a heart that is beating and I have a Life so splendid. Your kind must be wondering ever so why I get back in very easily right, it's all in the mind and I have got nothing to Lose. Allah is the word, with His guidance, He will make you think. For you, reciting is Never enough. You know what is lacking? Well, let's see. You are still a Loser, opps. Losers will react exactly the same way as you are doing now. Am I'm fvcking ashamed to know you. But I'm glad I'm gone is this world. I have been denied and remove. Go on, keep your fingers clicking to as many as possible. Tell the same stories, Lie to them, Hook them with the things they Love and then give them hope, by lying that You will get them what they adored. Cry as much with them, tell the same story over again, ask them for sympathy, Show your fvcking pathetic painfulbreathlessheartcannotstopbeatingfast face. Or I rather say, simply show you emo sentences and your fuck face.

Asshole and Fuck face, You.

2010-09-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

Plain Midnight, Love

For a thousand reason, a woman should be left at ease, all by herself. Alone, stitching back the opened spaces and looking for replacement, perhaps. Some would take years, forever to heal. But I guess, different people have different ways to hide things, depending on what is their story and how they feel towards it. Well, mine's different from every else's. I'm different and I'm proud of what I'm made of as I grew older. The thinking changes, the perspective differs. People with deep and painful experiences are thoughful enough and careful. Experiences, what are your deepest pain. Only you could feel the change in you as you go through reality. No doubt, I've been through it all. Regrets, pain, joy... It don't comes in handy. You have got to earn it. And when I felt that I'm losing my own pride in front of so many eyes, that's when I start to think back and feel if this is worth fighting for. "I fight for the right, the Best Choice of my Life. The best Woman Wins."

Alone, I'm happy I was Free. The madness war stopped and crashed down hard, I've won. You came by, You stopped and have a glance at me. I was enlightened. Never in mind, I would want to fall, I was afraid of Love. I just lost the other half of me and I swear it was Never easy. Because I want to move forward, I carried on with you. It was painful to smile, to be Happy, to even Laugh. With You, I found my Smile, my Joy and my Happiness. Thank You. We were just Fine, but we Both ended up Great. The things you do, is the things that I adore. The style you put on, is the style that I admire. The way you are, is the way I've been drooling for. Progress, it was painful You have to go through it with me. You have to understand, listen to me. Your presence when I say, you make me feel easy,relax. Because, I couldn't bother. I care Less.

Our movie date, We share the most common things. "We can't sit still, almost All the Time." Your groove is My groove. Your call is My call. I felt honoured to see my Name appearing on your mobile screen. It was something to me, I was Blessed. Every single glances you tried to steal, I counted. Your touch, damn my heart changed like a dead flower to the Flower that is about to bloom. You're the Light that feeds the sun. We changed to something Great to something Awesome. There's this twitch in me, that says: "Keep on Closer." Boy, you were sent from the above well I promise I will never Let you Go. I can't deny that I'm all on you now and I can see where this is going. We have a secret, but We're just too shy to tell the whole world. You'll find out one day, but don't bragg about my One too much. Goodnight .You

2010-09-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

I don't Need no Other.

The past few days has been Awesome much, raya and everything Nice. I love every single minute of it and I don't have to worry about a thing. Almost all the things that I have now, am very pleased to have it. Things has been so wonderful to get back with friends whom I left while I'm away. Love my people and we'll hang out again just soon enough. You know, I always felt at my worst when doing things, I always always have a tiny lil twitch everytime I wanted to give in. This is all because, I always think about you. But it was sad to say that everything went away when your emoshit-ing starts and the bragging came by. I can't live with that, you know it and who wants. I rather see myself getting hurt by some other than having to listen about Our past. Sorry dude, that's not me. I have my own pride and I'm a forward looking person and I have my own way of moving on. Well, if You can't, then stop counting me in because it Really am Not going nowhere. Go grab some pretty ladies and start your sweettalkingmotherfucker. And friends, Najib delete me off his list. Awesome kan! Perangai perempuan zaman secondary school. Dulu, show off habis. Now, Boring. Alahhh, takpe. Biasa lahh manusia kan. Nak jauh kan diri daripada sebarang sindiran ke, disakitkan hati ke. Semua ini kacang aje, tak payah nak besar besar kan. Nak delete, delete lahh. Jangan sampai Facebook aje, MSN, HP Number, GAMBAR. Jangan lupe skali. Kata orang, Stakat Facebook aje? Lain lain simpan buat ape. Buang skali lahhh. Last last, lepas ni takyah cerita pasal dia: I don't give a Damn thing now. Don't forget to delete everything about me, and you can tell your friends to delete to. I don't mind because my friends Does Not Condemn You and Your friends. Nuff said.

Ohh yes, I'm dating, like WHATEVER. Facebook Facebook Facebook, go see it for yourself. Like, don't like, BRAHHH HAHA. Meet Rizal, the easiest and most relax homie I've ever had. Best, awesome and Everything I feel like labeling. I don't think that it's wrong, because I have a life. Each time I opened up my stories, he'll say "Just relax ajeee. Don't bother about it too much." And now, I felt as though I'm already like him, Relax Habis!

Happy 18th Birthday to my Girlfriend, Siti Nur Nabilah Binte Abdul Rahim. Love you effing much.

2010-09-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

Our Forever's gonna start Right now.

Less stress and everything Nice, makes a wonderful Syawal this month. Raya is definitely Great for everyone I must say, but Mine is Awesome much. The worst thing is Life that I may need to go through, with much struggling and faith to hang on, I experienced the most Wonderful and Beautiful thing that I never wish I would get. I never said that I'm doing this with ease, to progress I need to struggle here and there. Change the things that I'm recently comfortable of doing, explore the things that I never thought that I'm capable of. It was never easy for me, but I did it flawlessly. I did it with calm and only one thing in mind: To move forward, I don't want to look back. Too much pain, just too much. I can't endure no more, so I have to let it go. With whom it might be, no one knows. I'm only appreaciating what I have infront of me. I didn't even look for it, it just happened. He was sent from above to secure this.

Raya bersama Naga Kencana was Awesome. The very first jalan raya for the year, and it was Great. I want to see more pictures of our jalan raya outing and the video tak boleh angkat! Yes, yesterday tak sempat nak bermaaf-maafan. So here: "Selamat Hari Raya kepada kumpulan Gamelan Naga Kencana ku yang tersayang. Shaza ingin menyusun sepuluh jari, kalau boleh jari kaki pun nak count skali, untuk meminta maaf atas segala dosa dosa, kadang kali tersilap kata, terkasar bahasa mahupun tergossip-gossip. Maafkan lah Shaza sekiranya tersakitkan hati kamu semua. Shaza harap kita semua akan lebih rapat lagy when the preparation for Reflections 2010 draws closer. Selamat Hari Raya.

Well, to say that I'm a cheater, hope-giver or whatnot. Consider the consequences after yeahhh. We're both cool and we're doing great. We are Nothing, but we are something. You get that?

2010-09-12T17:02:00.000-07:00

Awesome Much.

I had a super awesome raya, like always, Every Year! But sad to say that first day raya pictures was sucky. Damnnnnnnn. And on the 4th day of raya, which is on Monday, I have my every last exam for the First semester. I swear I didn't study and it was useless to ever wake up early and revise, but Nothing went up there. Yeahhhh. And ohh, I though that it was still fasting, that I have to ask my mum. Paiseh oii. I'm seriosly Looking forward to all Jalan Raya together with my People. Kay Loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

My personal life is mine and it's Mine only. Bestfriends, girlfriends, guyfriends they don't know a single thing. Yes, they know who but they don't know the Real story. I thought you condemn much about my friends, and why are you still being a dumdum to ask about me? You still have the cheeks eyy. I don't get it why you have to make my friend's life uneasy. Well, if you say you're not, Here's the thing; You Are. The very first few time was alright, but heyy, they don't have a minute with you at all. First was with Ailah, then it was Shasha and now it's Nabilah. Who's next? And your next move after reading this is to apologise, yeahhh. Obvious much that you still can't shake it off and wants to know more. Relax ah weyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. If I don't ask or even bother to ask about your personal life now, don't bother or even think of asking mine now because you'll know what kind of answers that Imma reply back at you. Yes, it's wrong to ask about my personal life now because you are only killing yourself. Why: 1. I can make a huge fuss about you being so foolish to ask who am I seeing with and then tell the world that You got mad because you seemed to not accept the fact that I am seeing somebody. Then I can make a stand by saying, "Your friend is the one who asked and I'm being honest and he still can let it loose. It's not my fault." 2.Once you can't accept my honest statement, hell yeah how I know how you'll go around bragging and showing that sad face. Then people will come to you and ask what happened. And after what You have to say, some may fucked you back for being stupid to ask me about my personal life. Haha. Take that back, Not my Fault. Please ah, don't say that I never teach you. Before you ask or say anything, use your brain and think of both sides not Just for self. Thanks.

There's seriously no point of or either Looking back or staying stationary now. I swear, I'm a woman and being there for someone who had lost a love life, I'll asked them to Move forward because it's Fvcking useless to look back. Be like last time? There's no need to "Be Like the Last time" I suggest you "Be Like Me and Move on". Relationship were there to make us learn, the ends are Happy or Sad, you need to adjust to every relationship. Some many not be comfortable with the way you were the "last time". Don't mess up your own life after every heart breaking relationship. So what if it always fail, So what? Keep your head up high and don't even looked down. It's ever so wrong. Look at me, keeping my head up high and keeping myself very busy with my friends, being happy all the time and soon the pain is gone, though not completely yet. But still, it gets rid of the thought of you. I don't want to remember every second of it because it's over and I have to let it go and forget and then look forward to the spaces that I could fit in. Don't hold back what you want to do, Just do it.

2010-09-09T01:48:00.000-07:00

Circular atmosphere; Presence.

It was just some clickings that I did almost everyday for the whole entire 24 hours. It turned out amazing that you came by, Just to say Hi. I didn't expect neither did I hoped for it. I know where I stand, I'm pretty much realised that I don't stand a chance too. You were Awesome, I Adored You. I never wanted to always stand alone because being a cheerul person everyday is a Must thing for me to do. Cheerful in your eyes, I feel safe though not yet secure. I remained calm, cool and relax because that's the way I am. You came across my mind everyday, you came across my eyes every minute. Everywhere, I see you. Caught by your smile, you took my breath away. But still, I love way I am now and I'm not gonna want to work things out. If you do want, do it my way, cool and relax. Sometimes you have to be easy so that You'll enjoy every second you spent with me. I really do Like you, if you happen to run away far, I'm Happy that I met someone like you. We're cool now, we're doing great. I hope you feel it too.

2010-09-08T22:36:00.000-07:00

We Rock like No One else did. We are Awesome, You're not. Meet this Charming Guy, He Rock my World. You didn't.

2010-09-06T01:30:00.000-07:00

Just Maybe, Perhaps;

Everytime I stared on my laptop screen, the features of you appeared. Features that blew my mind and made me smile. Features that annoys me much and made me not think about you almost all the time. Everyone deserve a happy life, maybe a cheerful one or just completely relaxed and cool life. Yes you, people like you. You deserve every single thing that happened or passed by time. Till your heartbeat Never stops, you are in Reality and you have to Face it with full of courage and a proper mindset to every single challenge Allah had put up Only Just for You. Reality, never was Once a Fantasy. You could imagine that you were somebody else, parents who are both a Billionaire or whose siblings which is Justin Bieber, Shontelle, Ryan Scheckler, Usher, Ashlee Simpson or whoever you want. Dream all you can, imagine all you want. They call it "berangan". But no matter what, at the end of the day, You are Facing Reality. You are on your own, you are in control, You Decide.

I swear I don't know what was on your mind and I swear You don't fvcking Understand the word "BREAK UP". Break up in Love means to go on separate ways. Either one in still in Love with the other OR both completely have No Love for One another at ALL. In your case, you are still in Love with the other despite the break up. Fortunately, the other half was completely kind and she don't mind because she knows that you are too young and you need some time to realise certain important things in a relationship. It was going as fine because she let loose of herself and enjoy her free time with things that she had longed desired. Break up means that both are free and there is NO restriction. Can do whatever you like, anything you please. However, the saddest thing she felt that, He was so stupid to want to save what was Already broken. Yes, true that things can be changed. But you can't just simply glue back the broken pieces of a glass. You can't fixed them as fast, you need to really find the missing pieces, Even the smallest ones. No doubt that after several reminders which she should have reminded, He is still in disarray. Damn, poor boy who doesn't know how to play cool after a Break Up. Relax, chill, enjoy, feel the atmosphere, appreaciate others and Rescpect your Ownself before ASKING YOUR EX LOVE TO RESPECT YOU. Dude, she's having a wonderful Single Life and she is Not rushing Love. What the Fvck is wrong with you, keep your cool dude. She's fvcking awesome now, you Need to RELAXXX.

"Kau lupekan aku pun baik ahh. Daripade mulot orang yang cakap Aku buat kau sakit jiwa, baik kau sendiri gerak ah." Annoying -.-

Okayy okayy.UT was so far sexyy and I'm happy for every single answers that I typed out. Programming, please be cute and don't make me scratch my head kayy tomorrow. They keep on saying chill and relax ajaaa. And I'm really enjoying it. Rayaaaaaaaaaa ohh rayaaaaaaaaaaaa! Tak sabar tak sabar! Rizaaaaaaaaal ohh Rizaaaaaaaal! I can't wait I can't wait :)

**Ahh, cakap ah: Rizal, please take care of Her. BRAHHH. Mepeks hardcore. Releks ah weyyyyyyyyyyyyy. NOOB!

2010-09-04T01:09:00.000-07:00

Like, I Don't Know.

It's getting pretty much amazing than usual. I thought it was plain, but it was Awesome! I didn't want to get in too quickly, but I know it'll turn out just perfect. I mean, it's okayy if he Holla, but atleast my prayers were answered. Yeah, that is all I could think of for now because it's just too Pretty. Uhmm, I'm very excited if It really did happen because I want to wrap myself with the arms. Ohh my, he's so pretty. I just can't get hold of it no more. Like, uhmm I don't know. We'll be Good though, I supposed if she doesn't ruin everything. Or else, Imma just need to carry on, Proceed.

2010-09-02T23:14:00.000-07:00

What a small Dickheads.

**WARNING I swear what Imma say, will make each and Everyone of you to Laugh out Loud.My blog, my say. Get the facts wrong, you are killing yourself. Can't accept the facts, Fvck off Kentals!

Things between Jib and I went on OhhSoFine though we're not together. That was ever so true, we're doing great, Not breaking one another. But tell me, who doesn't felt annoyed being questioned with things like "Who is he, You like ah, what he have to say" Yes, ask me a thousand questions. But why do you have to get them till so personal? At the first place, should you be asking me that when You know my answers would make you somehow angry. Then why take risks, and can't face it? Intentions were there and people can assumed anything. My intentions were to lose my grip of you and have a wonderful afternoon chat, and I'll be fine with everything you do next. So stupid of you to get mad and not controlling your temper. Not reading them till the very last fullstop and not thinking, "ibaratkan korang berat tak cebok." Maybe at the point of time, you kiddos were challenged by our flaws, you assumed things. Nuff said, that's true. But one who is aware of the situation will Never Jump to Conclusion. Say all you want, what you can. I know my intentions and it's between a girlchat with my Girlfriend. They're my friends, they give advice, they give me strength to THINK. No one can decide for me, I decide. Why do you have to care so much of what people say?

Because people think different ways or rather not thinking, it causes a tinylittlestupid disagreement. That is what I say. Oblivious of how I roll things, how I respond to it, you are only putting yourself at risk. I was Never always right, sometimes I got lucky. Having said so, things that I type it out, do You even know who am I referring to? Do you know whether if I sound Sarcastic or Friendly? Am I really getting it straight to your Face? If your answer is Yes, then I should say that You better start thinking Harder. The cyber world is just for the sake of entertainment and if you only think for yourself, You are abusing your own thoughts. It's a Public account and a public blog, everyone have the right to give a say. True that! But then again, having it on Public, my intention is to let out what I feel and thought while not hurting other's feelings. Do you have the right to say that I am specifically ditching about this kind of people or that kind of people? How sure are you, what are your evidence? Is it realible enough? I am not like you what wants to pick a disagreement on the Internet.[Like that statement, I'm referring to hell lot of people. Must I put this square bracket so that you will not feel the Pinch? Stupid siaaa] Why such a pussy to spit it on their faces? What do you get by hiding? Or rather you want the world to know who is the BigFvck of the disagreement? Kids now days, still young kan. BRAHHH

This is just a fvcking small diagreement that could be avoided if You know what is happening. I wasn't the least shocked that you responded that way. I do not have the right to stop you, because I know what I'm doing. I love the other girls, play Ms.Cool and Relax. It's not a fvcking big deal. Like I said, I ain't a wannabe BigFvck who wants all eyes on me. Like primary school, we learnt: Action speaks LOUDER than Words. Jangan macam Good good lahh. Sins during the fasting month, I am not even the Least guilty about it. Allah knows what I'm doing, for what reason and for what cause. How about you?

**I don't have time to play little Missy Nicey. Thinking if I'm speaking Sarcasm, tell you something. This is not even the start of my sarcasm. It's just an Introduction.

2010-09-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

Shadow, Invisible.

Worst than I have imagined, I thought we're off. I was slipping away, but you kept on grabbing. There's a whole lot more others, what can't you Let it off. I'm stuck with you and I don't want to be with you forever. Sometimes I wonder, if I should be the one talking much about things. But then again, I realised that I should. Only then my flaws will shut you up in the near future. Never would I understand the things that I am doing, but I do know out there, Someone else is watching me, admiring.

To check me out every now and then the Last time, would have make me to Love you more. But, to check me out every now and then, asking things that would have make you more cranky, it's so not right now. When will you ever ever get it that we're so Over? Brag all you want, I wouldn't even bother to ask you to stop, I don't have the right no more. Talk it out, keep it coming. Girls, to be specific, I don't even bother to ask which have a bigger tits, nice pussy or have lips so silky.I don't give a fvck No more about it. Yes, I was concern the last time. But why would I want to be an FBI to ask in and out about you. You broke me into millions, now that You're on your own, you're insecure about alot. Especially when it comes down to me. It's up to me to do what I say, to do what I like and to do to please people. I live alone now, not with you or him. I don't get it why you have to be so on top of your world when other guys are close to me. So what? Do I give a damn about a thing with your kind of girls now? People are just Ditching about you. Do you even know? Do you even realise? I bet you don't. Because you are so Like Her. The same Kind of people whom I never wished I would tell my Best girls and boys. BRAHHHHHHHHHHH.

What if I say, I found a Life, a Love, a Man, Joy and Smile. Just what If, you'll Love more than Anything else and it's only You that I've needed. You're beautiful in my eyes, though not perfect. But I know, deep down there, You are. Close your eyes, and I'll Kiss you every night when You're asleep, Just the way you wanted it. Pick you up after school/work and talk about just Food and what's your plan for the next day. When I wrapped you around my arms, the stares you gave me, make me realised how grateful I am to have you with me. I know you Love me, but you are just waiting patiently for me to make you stay in this Life, For as Long as Allah wants.

2010-09-01T07:47:00.000-07:00

Someone Like You.

You know, things in Life are sometimes Valuable. But at times, you can just Ditch about it. I have my needs and I really need it. What's more, when it really did happen. I am selfish, yes I am. I need to have the best boy too not just you. I have dreams that are splendid, I wish I could get them now. Not calling for a perfect life, but a perfect partner will make everything perfect. I crave for your presence, but I know I have to start all over like a year ago to have what I've been waiting for. Nothing comes in easy, it Never was. I'm very happy, because I keep away things to make people worry. Sometimes you'd Never realise the pain that She's Hiding.

I'd be the Only One Smiling all Day and Night if you Ever notice me that I have a thing for You.

2010-08-29T22:26:00.000-07:00

Ideal Love.

I bowed down and looked up, flying my hands across my head, saluting my people. You were great, just the awesome homies that I've chosen. Right or wrong, you were always there. I do not have a choice, but I know I'll make it through. It was never in my mind that I would be stronger; It just happened. I know for some reason, there will always be someone out there for me; I just have to either Find or Wait. Rushing would make matter worst and I hate it if I was with the other, when the Real one comeby the next day.

When all was over, I feel Awesome. I have everything back, I'm Awesome. I didn't know that I would be this happy, getting to see you everyday. Your smile give light to everything I did. The way you looked me in the eye, I just knew that you're everything to me. I can't get loose of you, you were with me all the time. I Love the way you make me feel secure, it Feels like magic. If only I have the power, I would have already make you be the Man of my Life. BRAHH, You're so Charming ^^

You are still young and small, yet You want people to praise down and looked at you. You are Zero to nothing bitch. You are nothing, Like OMGG. Who you think you are to press it down and say you're EXTRA ordinary. Damn girl, you a close to a piece of shit that I don't think any man would wanna bring you home. You ain't got no tits either to compare 'em with me. C'mon small girl, You only BRAHHHHH. Adik adik lagy siol ni pompan. Nak step mane nye Kakak Kakak siol -.-

2010-08-25T21:07:00.000-07:00

Back Again;

Ayy people, how have you been doing? I certainly know that You miss reading me right? AWWW, sweet, Love you. I was down with a Super-Duper-Whooper High Fever for the past three days and that is not cool. It never was lahh. Even worst, this time my tummy got a lot of air inside. I cannot burp, I cannot shit. The fact is, I couldn't even Fart like normal! I'm sorry, but I can't do normal things that I've been doing normally. The first night was crazy, temperature rising ever so high that I couldn't sleep normally, I have to walk around the house in the middle of the night just to make myself go to sleep. In the morning, temperature check was 39.5 degrees. Took my medication, off to sleep again(After bathing ah) Woke up again, temperature check was 39.7 degrees. Nak mampos pe aku! Whatever it is, this high fever is not cool, it didn't allow me to complete my work as planned. BRAHHH. But, I am finally relief that I can taste normally, I can burp loudly, I can shout on top of my voice. And the best part is, I can Finally Fart like the last time. PHRAKKKKK.

I thought that everything you told me was all so real. I never knew that I have met someone like you, totally a big fat liar. Well, I can't deny that I fell for you. I swear I did, everyone knows. I don't even wanna admit that I regret knowing you, because I never did regret anything I did in my life. Dissappointed was one, sorry for You was two. Tell the whole world what we did, if you want. Because I only know you as AR. I totally felt used, like OMG, I thought you were something new. But, I was wrong. Definitely, I don't know how to react. I never would want to hear you, because I was hurt deep down by your lies. Thanks for being honest but your attitude now is hidious. Pretty much believe that You'll have a hard time finding love when You finally decided to settle down I love AR more than I love T.TPICK

2010-08-21T21:22:00.000-07:00

What are We;

They were just there, blinded from the start. I felt it, but I couldn't reach it. They were just there, behind my back, supporting me with their strength; I felt it. I couldn't ask for more, which I already seen enough. You were right, I made a wise one. Doubts can be hazardous, I felt that I was right yet again. Stand by me, I know you did, I Love you- My one and Forever. Our close ties, I hope I could find as similar, but indeed it'll be years. You'll be in my heart for as long as forever, God kows how well you've treated me. I never did crawled back, because we all know, We'll be There No matter what. No matter how time is being complex. My girls, my Home boys- My People, I Love You.

Shocking as it was, too many secrets I digged out. OMG was the first word followed by DAMN, why is everything related. Care less about who you really are, but definitely didn't expect what a mess I did to myself. Suprises like this, I hate. Why ever so why, of all it was You. Countless days, precious time, I valued you. Leaving me hanging, was your job, I thought. Now, I know why. OMG, I am fcking Awesome. I Love my Life for it's full of challenges and amazing stories. Falling off the ground, laughing loud: Are You thinking what I'm thinking. Slowly but painfully, I know I have to disperse and leave the two of yous. The Yous are so close and I felt amazed with what I heard. OMG, I am fcking Awesome. Why are people Looking up at me. Ain't got no money to give Ma, ain't got no dime to call Pa, ain't got a penny to eat, Ain't got nothing to make the World go WOW. Someone tell me I'm Awesome, I'm just too Awesome, damn right!

Somehow it will never be, and Will Never- I Know. You are great, I know for Love. Hope that you feel me, as how I miss you now. You was never a Was, but always there. I feel you, but it's fine if You don't. Who am I to rush, to force. Neither am refering to you, Don't be silly. No one knows how my mind speaks. I am nothing, You are blinded.

2010-08-20T23:16:00.000-07:00

Careless, I Forgot

Though it was short, I felt entertained. For it was just between you and me, I'm delighted.

Then again, why does it have to be pushy. Why does it have to make matter worst, it ain't going just fine and I'm starting to lose sight about it. Acceptance is the other key, don't just brag about what you're trying to say and ended up trying to take it back. Here I am, lost in my own fairytale and there you go messing up the continuation part. Brahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I rather stay low and wait what's big coming up ahead of me.

2010-08-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Someday, You'll Know.

Feeling very comfy and such, I let down my hair and I felt empty. Brushing my hair with my fingers, I know I missed something. But, it's fine now. I know you are doing great with the people you know first. Once, being burned down, I know how hard it is to find a new path. Everyone sure do not know which way to go. But there's a thing called "Go with the Flow." I miss Fun and Awesome day. Now just who would do that with me?

You feel nothing but someday, you'll feel how lonely you are looking at the clock tickking away. Tired of everything you did, makes me wanna go far away now. I'm looking for something new. Maybe the last was that I was occupying my time, so I did felt it coming but I was conscious. Right now, much of it came down one by one, day by day. I wish school would start next Monday so that time would fly past easily. Everyone's talking now but I guess I had no other choice. That was the only way to show what I am going through. I mean, who doesn't feel like giving up when you'll feel it may be happening yet again.

With his Grey Vaider Supra shoes, tucked with his long black loose jeans. His simple white top wrapped with a slick biker jacket with hood, makes me go Ouhhhhh.. His hair is nicely comb to the side just like Justin B and that when he smile, He make me feel important and I named it, My personal Justin B.

Don't you dare degrade yourself because in my eyes, You are unique and I like it Like that. Loves the water, Loves the wind. Perhaps Love the crowd, I wish you were mine. Tall and built, tanned like a Hero, I think about you almost all the time. I did it with you, and has done it Only for you. The way you are makes me go gaga for more. My dude is Macho, I called you.

2010-08-19T02:28:00.000-07:00

Love for Last;

Last minute call for a photoshoot today turns out to Awesome. Much Love to Eddie Photography and everything was nicely done. Though I had to think alot before I go to bed and tuck myself to sleep, I am happy though. View my facebook to see the photos jyeah ^^

Though many disagree, I know I had made a wise one. Why go on when it's a one sided Love? Happy as it seems to be, everything falls right into place. Back to the usual self, doing things as per normal though it may be mundane doing it alone. But, I guess space is quality. Things could be done as and when I liked it to be completed. Nothing comes in handy or what Not, you have to know how to react and change your state of mind. I know I am Not as beautiful as whoever you might want to compare, but I do know, everyone has their own way to stay beautiful. Like Jessica Simpson would say, "What really defines Beauty?" Though beautifully broken, I am crashing down, breaking into pieces at slow motion, trying not to reach the ground too fast.

2010-08-18T06:57:00.000-07:00

Failure;

Who doesn't need it, I do. I know I don't deserve it, but I did. Everyone had their chance and I don't understand why I got it. You know, when things were complex, you were there for me. Though you could only listen to my pain, it mean so much to me. Before anything happened, You caught my eyes and I was all over you. But you were too late, I was back then. When we kissed, I don't even want to let it go, It fall right into place, just perfect. I feel you and I can't seem to forget about it. What's left are all feelings and dreams that may some way somehow be true. I love you D !

2010-08-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

Big Things.

UT 3 coming up big and I haven't touched on any module yet. I really gotta make it through because I want to shine like a rockstar. I mean who doesn't right. PFFFFTTTT. I've made it half way through 2010 and lemme say, there's so many things that I wished I could remember. Heyy man, some things have just got to remain as lowly as possible. Well, I just can't believe that I'm saying this; Well uhmm, I haven't Had enough of Being Eighteen and Rockin' . There's so many friends that I haven't seen for months and really, I miss you dudes damn right. YOG is rockin' Singapore and especially my neighbourhood like forever. There's far too many purple heads I'm seeing. Hell yeah, I was one. But backing down was the Best. I mean yeah, it's the First ever, but looking at them through the screen, Damn, Lengthy lahhh. BRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I miss yo :(

2010-08-15T23:35:00.000-07:00

With Love; >

You are my people and I apreciate your presence during the First Semester of my Year 1 years. Each and everyone of you are like precious diamonds that will be kept close to my heart. I found you first and I swear no one beat it better than the W35E's. Damn, it's heart breaking that we gotta end it for just a few months, just like I'm losing Love. But heyy, keep in touch yeah. I Love You all. MUAH ^^

When at times I feel that you are all mine, something just have to blow it away. I don't understand why but Yet I gave in much. Girls, there's plenty of them. To find the last and lucky, you have got to be ready. Nothing comes for free or perfectly. Unless you are ever so lucky, you get what you pleased. True not, some take it for granted. I thought You weren't one of them. Until, I opened my eyes and saw it coming ever since the time we argued. Sometimes I asked, why some people blew away the chances and came back crawling. Don't they know what they should be doing when the first call Fails? I always don't get it when it keeps coming back again and again. But, I was a little to too late and stupid to let it go. I've wasted much of my time to save my own ass.

Over which I know, a lesson has got to make it realise, my feelings fades like the last time. I was in much lethargic and I don't see any good will make me feel better. I'm selfish and that's part of me that You have got to know when things get complex. All this while, it has always been you but what about Me? When things got way otta hand and I felt that words came out from me was just a boring sympony. But little did I know, you're not the man that I thought could have lead me. Damn, what kind of a human are you?

Now that you are all on your own, I bet you can't even think. I tried reminding you the last time and it pains to see that it all falls on deaf ears. A thousand times when we're together I said I don't ask much from You. A million times when we're together I said We'll make it through. And a billion times when we're together I said You can't do that to Me. Till now, a small favour I asked you to do, You can't even fulfill it for me. Screw the fact that You lie to me so that I would believe that you have fulfilled it. I know much about things going on in your life, I Know. I hate someone who never moves on. I hate it much when I'm dealing with people like you. I don't understand why and I don't get the true fact. Shouldn't it be that Losing the one you've found be more Significant that afraid to lose those who don't bring any good in your Life? Tell me, what am I for? Just a display set? Fuck that Jerk.

Now I'm talking what I felt all this while. I bet you didn't think about any of this don't you. I am no match to be nagging. I Have a life and enjoying it. I'm just an ordinary person with well mannered qualities that is enough to make anyone smile. It do pains deep inside to see how time lost I've wasted. I don't regret, but I felt sorry. Sorry for that You have to do it on your own so that You'll know. Wasted huh, I don't ask for all this. You take it for granted knowing that I will give in all the time. Well, there's limit to everything I do. I maybe nice, but once You killed me deep inside till I don't feel the pain, that's the time I'll Let You be on Your Own. There's nothing that I can do Left. I could only wait to see what's there Next for Me.

2010-08-11T23:48:00.000-07:00

As if I was Wrong.

The whole thing went on with loopholes that it was already been fixed. Once was Fine, twice was Unbearable and third was Awesome. Ain't got no reason to be mad because as I have expected it and am thankful. Like finally, Nature's calling and jyeah, Keep it Up Like the Last time. It wasn't wrong at all I fucking swear, but however, damn, You are hooking up with just the wrong person yo. Don't quite get it right but I was thinking though. But then again, it doesn't make any sense at all. Of all, why You. Fuck that right straight to your balls. It is so over lahhh, I swear. I miss you, and I miss you damn much. Every since that day, I was all over you. Like hmmmm, I miss that part. Just the 2nd day of fasting and I'm tired of this. My ladies, Let's go Chill ^^

2010-08-10T07:32:00.000-07:00

Hoped would Be;

It was never too easy to stand up and get the words perfectly formed. She came on strong knowing that the Love was real. Damn, "Love, Define it." Precise on everything would make him happy, I doubt she needs to swollow everything little things that would hide the loop holes of them. But little did she know that it wasn't just the perfect way to stay alive. Perhaps, I think she had done enough to sacrifice herself. I wouldn't even think about leaving. Well, Love make Me Blind. Something is really telling me that it all gotta stop at once. But rather, little by little, it would ease off the pain. Selfish, what do You think? Should you listen to your heart and speak up from your mind of Your real Needs and Wants? Or rather, the opposite. It was stupid to know that it went on to the different direction. Damn, it was a Little too Late. It wasn't because of Us, it was because of Me. He would have made me feel safe, knowing that I need it really bad. I could have avoided it, I'm just sorry, I choose not too. Guilty, I rather say Not. Because for once I did it ten times Better. Damn, it was all messed up. Well, Life's A Game. So now what, I'm just Lost. I rather not have both. I just need one thing; Self-Time. I don't know who the hell messed my mind up. But I would rather say, This is It. Well, it may seem too fast, but uhmm. I saw it coming, but I was deeply in Love with you and I choose to stay. Damn, I should have cleared it out. Allah, forgive me and please lead me with your light. I need you and I don't want to stay in this mess though it was clearing away. You know it best what's for me and I know You bring me back because of Just One thing; To Make others Happy and Feel Happy.

2010-08-08T07:20:00.000-07:00

Tell them I was Happy.

"The hardest thing to do may be the best for You." Everyone did that and I've seen each of them hang on strong. I have merely everything that I've ever needed. Though I take risks, I'm proud of what I've gone through. Then again, it wasnt just right and I have completely no idea of what the hell it wants for me. I Love the way you Lie, it was all too beautiful that I was caught up and made myself looked like a Hoe. Sometimes it felt as though it was all too little too late. When I wanted to make it happened, it came back trembling all over. And when I finally set it on a loud sigh, it came back forming perfectly. I had no idea or anything to make it up, I was confused. I felt stupid to be cheated and I'm embarrassed about this whole Love thing. I remember years ago someone told me I should take caution when it comes Love, I did. Then ma came in strong to take it all away from me, I was awaken by her. She took it all over and I got washed away. I felt sorry, But I couldn't help it. You were beautiful, and I can't choose between You and Ma. You both were as important as blood and heart. I don't know where we're heading next, I can't see the path that always shine on Us no more. Where we're going, can You take my hand walk with me through the aisle? I can't seem to reach you baby, you were behind me, You ain't moving. Baby, You need to move forward, you can't just stand there alone, come and walk with me, I'll guide you through. Why, I didn't even have the chance to understand and I don't even dare to take away that smile, that lights up when I smile. But, it just happened though, I don't know where to go. I'll be fine, I swear. But, will You? Will you ever step it up and move through it all. Everything else was as far too perfect, perhaps just the way I like it. But, it's a matter of how well I do it. I'm speechless, I'm lost, I don't know how to and I don't know when. I don't want to make you wait. I'll be painful as what I'm feeling. I had enough to make you feel sad, I just don't get it and I will never understand. Thus, I'll be away.

2010-08-03T07:26:00.000-07:00

Bitch, You are Dead.

Skipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskipskip.

Try to be in my point of view, I'm ever so kind and Cute that I let it go to being this close to punch and smack your tits Bitch. Like uhmm Hello Bitch, He's my boyfriend and You have your own Dickhead to blow. Like

uhmm, can't You see who You're messing with? Are you blind or what ? I don't get it why, like it's fucking killing me deeper each time I met you. For some reason, I always felt that I am being so stupid to be stucked with a Boy who doesn't even know how to grow up and move on with His fucking Life. It's like as though, You have me, I'm your girl and why does it still be a need for that Sundal to bother our Story. Like OHH-MY-GOD , and she's already had a boyfriend and that the boyfriend doesn't know about this Chapter. Baby, she already mentioned/said/told that the Both of you will Never be together. It will Never happen. Baby, why are You so dumb to hang on to her still. My god, she's fucking using you. Fucking stupid sia. I just want to let you know that I have to Options: ONE- I will blurt out your story to her boyfriend and I will find him. From there, I can either flirt with her boyfriend so that she knows how it feels like. Or rather, I will ask him to kick your ass and then let you go. Or TWO: I can just simply let this thing Go. I am Shaza Misdani, I am a Woman of my Words, if the time comes for me to not give in, You are in big trouble and then You'll be crawling back to me like You did Once.

2010-07-31T08:10:00.000-07:00

I Love my People, Goodnight :)

2010-07-29T23:25:00.000-07:00

Cold, Heart warmers.

Rain was terrible till I have to call Daddy to sent me to school. The wind was ever so strong and the rain kept hittind on earth like a killer. Reached school early and I was the first in class, before I knew it, I was way back in my sleep facing my feet. Now I'm typing, like as though I'm having frostbite. Now I'm dressed like as though Singapore was ALREADY snowing. I'm wearing four layers of clothing, you get that ? Now baby is out with His BabyBoys to spent quality boys time and then he'll be going off for his last training. Then when I end school, I will be out with my BabyGirls to spent quality girls time too. Now, I'm waiting for class to end, thinking of what to wear later, Baby I need options ! Kayy Love You bi <3

2010-07-29T04:44:00.000-07:00

Senile; It gets Tougher.

When things was Once beautiful, it shattered like a broken glass. Piece by piece, it broke down into more pieces. Trying to get back up this time was the toughest. Yet, I am no strong then other souls around me. Like an angel they shine towards me, I felt weak. Ashamed of what was left of me, I look down on self, trying to find my face. Seeing it was one, Hearing it was two, Feeling it was the hardest. I was deeply in Love with you, with your strength. I couldn't do it or went on another further like you. Just to see your strength to get back up, I was thrilled. You mean the whole world to me, How I wish I was that strong like You so that I can move on and see what's there in for me. Never could I expect the worst for You, I could just listen and feel the pain that we both have to go through. Yes, it felt Unfair. But, this Life means Nothing if there wasn't any challenges that everyone has to go through. For the fact that you went through it again, I felt sorry for You. I never could have imagined how painful it would it be to see Our Love do it to Us. Damn, it was very hurtful I must say. I know, for a reason, we just have to give in and take what was done or said. Yes, I am Never stronger than You are. I salute you for your Strength, the patience that You have put up, I was awaken from this Misery that I'm in because You were stronger to defeat everything.

I was in Love with you. You mean everything to me and I was delighted to have you by my side. I was mesmerized by your beauty, Never could I imagined a day with your presence. I was happy, everyone could see it. I was shy to introduced you to anyone because I was afraid that you are too beautiful to them. Baby, you broke me into millions of tears, my ears were bleeding to hear it coming out from them. I was confused, I thought what we had was special. I never knew that You would do a thing that shameful towards me. Because you're in much denial, I was lost. Lost to know my Love for You. I don't know if it's really ongoing or not, for the fact that I was just too Lost and ashamed of them. I love you, that was sure. But to date, I don't know how to say it to You. I couldn't help it, you used to be the love of the class, Boy, wake up. Things happened for a reason, we get it. When I see you cry right infront of me, I trembled down because I never knew it hurts you this bad. You were the man, and I could see how much You Love her, You value Her. Boy, it kills me deeper to see you frowning today. How I wish I'd knew what was on your mind. I know you have something to tell me, b ut only because I am a girl, You were ashamed to let it out. Boy, You have advised me that much to save my own Love story. This is the time for me to help you out, the least I could do is to listen to your heart. You know it too well, that keeping kills you more, Boy, we're in this together. I feel You.

Dear Love;

Jibby Tribanni, Najib Kamel, Jib's Jarvis, Jib's Appleton, but most importantly, The One I choose to Love for the longest of years that Allah allows. I want to see myself smile again, I want to see myself happy again, I want to see myself in your eyes again and I want to see myself being there No matter what again. I want to stop crying and I want to stop all the mess. We're doing fine, but not as Fair as it can be. I want the Us that we both were. But first, we both have to change ourselves.Don't rush and take it easy for we have dealed with the most careless thing. I wouldn't want to repeat it again, for which it was STILL hard for me to gain Your Trust. Which part of it that you don't get it right, I am a girl and I have trusted you so Much before and You have to meet my Needs now to give me time to Gain you back. C'mon, do I need to counterback at you so you'll Feel how much it kills me? Well, baby, that wouldn't save our misdeeds. I'm sick and tired of reminding you for You have no one to nag at you at home, that Was why You were so Manje and couldn't take what I need to say to Save our ass off.

2010-07-21T07:45:00.000-07:00

Inside me is Broken into Millions.

It kills me deeper each time I think about you. I bled twice as much knowing that it'll be over too soon.

I held my head up high to not let these tiny droplets touched the ground. I'm trying three times tougher to be strong, to let it passed by me. But, I'm just wondering, what is there lacking of this beautiful soul that have came back to bring light to this promising soul. You know what, I don't think I'm that important now. I don't think you're important to me anymore. I am so not afraid to lose you, I swear. But I would love to laugh at you when You're all by yourself. Your sick ass jokes is not hilarious at all. Your repeated stories bores the whole universe. What are you , it's like though I don't know you anymore. Well baby, if you can do all that bullshits to me, I can do it 10 times better than you do. If that is what you want from me for loving you, Baby, Bring it On. I ain't got nothing to lose. I always have that in mind, to kill you upside down. But I controlled myself; Why did I control because the purpose is to make myself happy. Satisfied with the things that I did sincerely to you. I have always told you that I don't ask much from You. Knowing that You cheated on me, Was the most heartbreaking. Of all the arguments we had, well this, You went too Far. Just too fucking far to let anyone knows about this. Why, because I'm ashamed. Why, I thought we were doing Great but you have another Bitch behind that Pathetic face. I didn't expect you to do that kind of thing. Why, for the fact that You Convinced me that the bitch is nowhere near you, I trusted you with all my heart. I gave it all to you. Why, You're my boyfriend and what's the use of not Trusting. When I first found out, I was trembling all over. I lost direction and my mind wasn't straight. The pain was unbearable and I knew I was hurt yet Again. But the pain was killing me even Deeper when I heard what You said to the Bitch. Baby, I was this close to let you go. To let you fuck the bitch, to let you lick her boobs, to let you hold her. I was Fucking disgusted. Why, she's already a SHE-MALE and I wondered what was so good about getting to know her that You have to Lie to me in sucha big Cirlce. My love for you soon faded and it was all gone. Honestly, I wanted to leave you. Why, It was all in a big mess and I wonder what other bullshits will come from you. Am I stronger to go through it yet Again? But, I turned that down. Why, Allah asked me to stay. Because he Loves me more than You do and he knows that I am strong. Allah have seen me went through the most difficult obstacle that he have set for me. He asked me to stay because that thing You did, wasn't the most difficult thing, but it was Too Much. If you're gonna said that Your Life is Fucked Up. Baby, You are fucking your Own Life. You are the One that wants your Life to be fucked up. And that is the Only reason why everything to you was Fucked up. I am not pleased with every single sentence you build up for me, because those were just excuses. Another repeated sentences that I have to bare. Honestly, I can't believe that my own love is a Fool. Well I'm sorry because you are like a pathetic tape recorder which doesn't know how to move on and said somthing sincere and fresh. All I get was: March 17 2010,it was the first time i saw you,you were reading less then zero.i never seen so perfect,i never think that i have to have you or i die. Baby, You know that TOO WELL that this wasn't YOUR FIRST TIME saying it to SOMEONE. Hello, I am Shaza Andrea and I Know everything from A-Z. From Kissing to Fucking. Seriously, I am Not your typical women with Only Big Boobs and Butts or even Oversized, that You want to fool. I went to school and I've done my O Levels. I Learnt alot in Life and You have ALOT to learn. Grow up lahh Boy, favour sia.You know it too well, that I am Never gonna be easy this time with you. I will make you Feel this piece of shit yourself and I don't care how much emoshits you throw at me because those were LAME tricks you played on your previous bitches. Baby, please use your brains. I am very Observant and I don't just predict. C'mon dude, everyone knows our story and I am not the One being Looked down. But, You are. What will others think about you Now. They all cared most about me, because I've given my best to you and I mean it. If you care most about having alot of friends especially bitches, then You let me go. Why, because I am intolerent of my boyfriend to have bestfriends or whatnot of the opposing sex. Unless I know You through them and I know how they Look like, then it fine. Another reason, of course a girl wants her boyfriend to only just focus on her. Which girl would not feel sad if the boyfriend have other girlies to entertain. Well, all that, to me is Not a part of a Relationship. I'm not saying that you cannot meet or talk with your friends, but please, how many times must I emphasize on Limits. You got so mad when I'm close with my guy classmate or even worst, a senior from the same CCA. Your ego ruled your emotions, you see. I ONLY have babygirls because the bestfriend you ever had is when they are the same sex as you. Why, you'll understand One another. Simple explanation, you can't even fulfill that. Enough of all this piece of crap because it's an immature thing.On one note, To all those that is reading this: If you are in Love or dating Someone, please observe their behaviour careful. Yes, you are in Love but shits like this Happened. If the person dating you/ you are in love, and If they were to Use similar SweetTalkerMotherFucker sentences to you all over and over again, or even worst, used them to Someone else, if You are Not strong, please leave all them because who knows you might get the same thing as I do. But, if you are strong, I respect you and Go on. However, don't be too easy yeah. Think about your Own feelings first, then You can attack the person with a Bazuka, by all means. To Najib Bin Mohd Kamel, I will never be easy on you starting yesterday. And I swear I am ashamed of your misdeeds and I don't know where to hide my face. Everyone now knows our story and I don't know how to manage you. I just hope that this is the Last time I get from you. I hate what you have done to me and making people to know about this. I swear I have nothing to lose but I am not the person who gave up easily and so We will Move on. Yes, I'll be rude to you because there's no More Ms Nice. The feeling of love, faded and You'll have to bring me back to you. When talking about Trust, you are Reading Less than Zero and I don't know what the Fuck it means. Well, you are way down too low to have my trust. Baby, you have to work this out on your own and I am Not the right person to Lead. But You Are;

Irritating person, Fuck, Ruining everything, Dissappointment.

2010-07-17T05:50:00.000-07:00

It gets Sexier.

Though I love to say how fortunate I am to have you, was just awesome. It doesn't matter to me if I don't get anything in return. All I want from you is so that You feel happy and deserve the kind of care and concern, love and honesty from me. I love you like you do. And baby, I Miss you like you miss Me. I don't care how many bitches will tryna break us apart. And I don't care how hard 'em bitches will try to hypnotise you. I don't fucking care because to me, they don't fucking know your story line and I wonder how the Fuck could they hang on with you. I fought hard and I know I'm tougher. If I ever find out 'em bitches tryna break this, I swear I'mma ripped out their panties and force a cucumber Into their pussy. 'Ya heard that, Bi-ATCH.

The Forth baby, I Love you fucking Awesome !

2010-07-11T21:31:00.000-07:00

When we were Too Far.

I don't dare to close my eyes, for which you didn't call me back and convince that everything's gonna be alright. I blamed no one, but I only have you to blame on. I don't blame other people

because they have nothing to do with our story.I'm just confused right now, whether if

I am suppose to be lenient with youor it's just the fact that to you, it doesn't affect either

one of Us. It pains me deep inside when I have to think about all of this. I don't want to save this no more,

I hate to think about it and I just don't have time to hurt myself. It's all too unfair and

the sad thing is, I have to keep things to myself. I don't even dare to say it out because

I know what the answers would be. Sometimes you gave me the worst and lamest excuses ever,

but I still let you win. You wanted things as bad, you wanted things at once and you wants it all.

I am dissappointed about something and yes, here is what I have to say. I'm getting sick and tired

of your lame excuse and I wonder just what you take me in for. I regretted as much,

because I was trapped with your trick. I gave my best, now here is what I did just for the sake of this Love.

I sacrificed my study time recently to be with you because I'd only know that you

need me there. Every Sunday, I came down to watch your game because I'd know that's

the only time for you to make me catch your last moments.

There have been a few times, I came down to your workplace just to say 'I Love You' when I know my ma would nag at me for coming home late. I gave in and stayed with you to catch a movie because we

both knew there was no time slot left.

When I made a mistake and it nearly ruined everything, I crawled back to you and came down to

Tampines just to apologise in your naked eyes. Because I'd only knew that wasn't just

enough and I don't have a spare dime,

I stayed late to make a card for you with all our pictures and full of Love and Sincerity.

Then I had to walk through the rain and rushed to catch your game. I was lucky that I wasn't

being strucked by lightning.

I don't need no one to pity me, I've been through all of this and I just hate it how much my friends

have to listen to it all over again. My innitiative and the sacrifices that I've made, only turned me into someone stronger.

I've told you countless times that I'm not asking much from you. I've told you that I don't like

to erase your smile,it's too beautiful. I don't want to take anything from you.

For fact that You've stolen my Love, please Be a Man, a Real tough man who knows how to lead. Please baby, I'm giving in to you already, what else you want me to do? I apologise if If I'm beig rude too,

because sometimes, You weren't aware f what You've doing. I don't want to trouble Both of our Friends, for which this is our Story and as far as possible we sort it out our own. It kills me right in when I need some help from Our friends to help us out.

It shows that I'm weak, too weak to make you Listen. If I'm not myself and gets mad with the way

you're behaving, do ask yourself this

"How I done Enough to Ever make this Girl enjoyed her Quality time She had with me? "

**Baby, I Love you. That's all I have to say.

2010-07-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

Coming from you I admit

The past few days has been all about Love. Then I realised that I haven't been updating about other things. Actually, I don't have much things to say. But I only do have one thing. I Miss FASA SAFA to the max. All my Brothers For Life. Kick ass ah, Jom golek !

2010-07-07T07:13:00.000-07:00

Najib Kamel. If you were to ever be reading this, please be honoured. Baby, I know that I'mma not be seeing you at all this week. But please, don't show me anything that makes me wanna really see you. Both of us are busy and we're like miles apart. But everytime I called you, there's always something that I will pick on you and You will pick on me. It's either that or you'll be talking round in circles about your friends which I never knew and never heard about it. I'm not angry, but I find it weird. I swear I have no one else except for my "Brothers for Life" and my classmates. Yes, I do used to have a whole lot of guy friends. But now that you got my attention, then you deserve all my love and concern. All these people knows you and understand how much you needed me in your life. That is why they're gone and we Rarely do meet ups. Common baby, I only have you super fucking close to my heart. My Brothers for Life knows me too well and the respect you. For god's sake, I do really want to come down and support you bi. But I doubt that you'll be busy and happy with your friend's company. I respect that so much. Everyone else is tired baby, I love to sleep and if I could ever follow my heart, I would never want to talk with you on the phone for the longest hours. I'm a lazy person, you know that too well. But please, if I could minimise that and get myself to accompany Our nights, those were just excuses. Baby, we were fighting mouth about nothing. Because you're too tired, you tend to let it go on me. Well, that's fine. I can take that. But Baby Love, I swear I'm Sick and Tired of hearing Us to brag about the most smallest-stupidest-unnecessary little quarrels that we had for the past few days. Baby, let's be like last time, all our craps, jokes. Macam funny funny gitu. Remember MIIIILLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK =))

2010-07-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

Letters to Jib Lorenzo.

To the one that you Love the most, please be mindful that everything happened for a reason.

You may find your Love now, but some way somehow, Allah Loved you more as much as the person who is Loving you right now.

To some, Love is hidious,disgusting,unworthy and everthing that is not equal to nice.

But to some, Love is beautiful. I found my Love few months back, I don't need to describe

my Love, because the whole world knows him and only myself knows

why I choose the same man. At times, I may be complaining to you that my man

does thisandthat which created much ill feelings about the whole situation.

Overall, Allah made you have that kind of feeling because He wants to know

how you would Overcome the Challenges that He put up Only Just for you.

I learnt things in Life that if you were being dumped or the one dumping or if you're

as pretty as Megan Fox or as charming as Zac Efron or owns Macbook,iMac,iPhone,

iPad,HTC that does not mean that you are Everything to the world, it does not make you

into a "Somebody". It doesn't people, be aware of that. I learnt that the greatest

thing to do, that makes you the real great thing on Earth is when, You found the partner

of your Life, being truthful to one another and Married to the same partner. The best ever thing,

You start a family and have children. From then on, you worked hard to feed your

family and then owns a Car. Volvo XC90 or Honda Crossroad would be my dream car

for my Future Husband to drive me around. But Jib wants a Volkswagen Beetle in Navy Blue.

Maybe someday he would but that's pretty cute for a honeymoon Only.

When you grow older and your child gets tougher to handle, the main thing that

makes you the best is when you shaped your children well, pass down the responsibility equally.

Then soon, it came down to only You and Allah. Allah created you, and He'll bring

you Back Home one day. Well, the most greatest thing you've ever done in

Your entire Life journey, Comes down here. "Will you ever be Ready to Let go of Your Love?

The one you make as your Life partner, the one you got married to and have childrens with,

the one who holds the responsibility, the one who Loved you and Cared for you the most.

Will you be tough when the day comes? " I've seen my family grow, from a happy one,

to some sorrows and then finally back up. Whenever I have the opportunity to kiss my mother,

I never will want to let her go.I made her angry, I made her happy and I make her dissappointed.

I am not ready to Lose my mother's Love, neither Lose my father's Love.

To some, you maybe having a fucked up family, but still, When they're Gone, means it's for Real.

You can't bring them back. They are, honestly I'm saying, the person that You'll miss the Most.

I adored the strength that Jib put up in Life for which He had lost the most lovable person closest to his heart. Truthful as I am, I can never put up the same strength that Jib does.

For which, I'm not ready, but I am aware that I have to know it will happen One day.

I am certainly honoured to be with a man with full of courage and accept things that came across his life,

be it a good one or not. It teach me to think through in a very careful way, for which,

I hate to make Jib cry or make him create ill feelings towards me because, he cried enough.

But everytime I make him display the widest smile that caught me for the very first time,

I felt great for which I've done my best to make a person feel happy.

I never would ever want to disappoint him, I promise.I thanked you for every moment

we spent together and it will be kept close to my heart. We both know we came a long

way and If we ever had to go on separate ways again, I will find for you even if I had to

travel miles down to Italy or London. Even if it take me a hundred years to find your Love back,

Baby I Would do anything to take you back in my Life. I Love You more than anything else.

2010-07-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

My Kudut Baby

BRAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. World cup fever, Germany; He put his soul on. I LOVE YOU!

2010-06-30T04:41:00.000-07:00

One Last.

Baby, you mean so much to me. You're the light that feeds the sun, in My World. I faced a thousand years of pain for you love. I could still remember, the time we first spoke. It was just magic.

Then I was heart broken and thought that you will just be there to accompany my nights.

Baby, I was so wrong. I took the chance and let myself in to get back to love.

Then I thought we were just random, but Baby, I felt in love with you.

I'm sure you could still remember the day we first met. I was too shy, I ran away from you.

I couldn't believe that I saw you, till that I have to be a girl and face it. Then I remembered, we had Burger King for my second lunch break. My eyes were all on you.

Then soon after, all I could remember now is that you are the only who would always

trouble yourself to wait for me to end work.

Then I thought, "Jib Handsome, tapi bodoh . Ape lahh, belum apeape.

Eeeei , nak tunjok sweet ah. Ohhwoops ! Tak dapat :) " Then soon, Our first date.

Baby, it's Dear John and KFC . It was beautiful, just the way I wanted someone

to spend their money on something cheap on the first day. Too much of everything

will end up too little in the end. Baby, you know we both went on strong,

I could feel it, I swear. But, we went on split ways because something

that was stronger came in between us. To be honest, the thing that kept me believing that It'll be you, was because,

You hold on to me too tight. Just too tight for me to let go of you.

Not even a chance, baby. I can see it in you. All my shits you had to face, everything.

I saw what a match you put up. You were just too strong baby.

Out of nowhere, there was light coming out from me that shines on you.

From then on, I just knew that I've listen to myself to just carry on and go

with the flow. Baby, I could still remember the smile you put on

when I finally said "I LOVE YOU NAJIB"

I couldn't bare to erase that. You were just beautiful,

because I know how much pain you went through because of me.

I just hate to see you shed a tear, be so down and no mood the whole days, weeks.

Baby, I once told you that if someone deserve to be loved by me,

I'll give it all and I'll try my best. I put my trust on you, knowing that

you do know how to handle things on your own. I though that you're

good enough to make the right choices and understanding your needs.

I'm not forcing neither am I controlling. Baby, I never did want to do all that because I trust that you know how

to do things your own way. But, I was dissappointed to know the truth.

You are very fortunate to have someone like me that Never explodes right away.

I remained calm because I know that I have to swallow the truth no matter what.

It was unexpected but I have to point it out to you. Because Baby, you are

Mine only and I Never Want and Never Will share you with no one else.

Say I'm selfish. I don't give a fuck, because I've travelled far and came back

to you and only You know what we both had to go through.

So Baby please stop giving me headaches because I just had enough things to hang on to.

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.

That'll be all that I have to say. Baby, I can't look after you everyday.

I hate it how much I have to check on you now and then. "I don't wanna go back to Just being One Half of the Equation, Do you Understand what I'm saying? " You know I love you, I got no one else. Baby, I LOVE YOU .

You know that too well .

2010-06-25T05:54:00.000-07:00

Love Sick.

When I was younger, I never thought that I could end up with a blissful life. Now that I had it, I wish that I could go back, and educate those who needs it. I am just saying out of curiosity, but why do you have to be so defensive? I love you for who you are but not to what you are trying to follow these days. You were so fine, I swear. But now, I am just a few more steps to push you in my Ohh-No-way-picture-perfect-cantiks-moment. I am disgusted to see those things sticking on your body. Perhaps you should double check or maybe you should get a new big-clear-wide mirror. Perfect, just nice. I bet you are pushing your cups up to get 'em G's. I can see a hundred, thousand Canon-Nikon DSLRs and I can see a million,zillion different wears. Out of it, it's not just you that is such a big thing. You ain't the Big Fuck of that. I've seen it all around woodlands, yishun, tampiness. Most importantly, anyone could have spotted it around Orchard road. Honey, please stop 'trying to tell me that You ARE the Big Fuck.' Ain't nothing that interest me because you only own a Hundred B's. To even thing that you are actually not lying is had to spot. But the fact that you are lying, goddamnit! You are close to make, but I have to deal with all this. Nahh, maybe you are just thinking that I might fall for it. Why be an asshole? I've seen a trillion tricks/tactics, all that rounds up to you be a Dumbass. Ohhwooops =))

It's friday yet again and I'm feeling awesome. Awesome because it's Friday and I get my weekends off. Awesome in a way that I can sleep the whole day and smell my babypillow. Awesome because I am totally unwell and I Miss my Baby. Awesome nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...

**Crocs to school, Don't even think About it...

2010-06-21T21:58:00.000-07:00

I'll admit it, I was scared to answer love's call

This real bad man was the toughest to let my life be at ease. I was hogging on to other deals that might cross my path, but it was indeed unworthy. I dreamed about a Jay-Z kinda guy. With his loose faded jeans perhaps and simple white tee wrapped with the most awesome black-glossy bomber. To add some flavour, he flips on his new era cap and the most important of all ; This guy pleases his lady by slipping on a pair of gray Supra-Vaider shoes that dopes everything. Can you imagine that :D Then I dreamed about J.B kinda type. Dressed like an awesome person, faded ripped jeans contrast with a plain white tee. The most expensive black bomber and the dopest Supra Vaider. But this time, it's different. This guy pleases his lady by brushing his hair with his fingers infront of his lady and giving her the most silkiest cheeky smile of all. Can you imagine that :D But this tpe of guy, he is the most commanding, demanding and most of all the easiest to tease! Well, that's too bad that I wish he was taller than me, stronger than me. One who is bigger than me. Haha

2010-06-17T06:48:00.000-07:00

Till I meet this pretty Little Missile.

It was surprising but I still don't care about it. It was definitely expected because it had happened before. I don't have to justify anything because it was all so clear. But to whom it may affect or should I say "merasa" , it's up to you to choose. I am very observant in the little things you do. Way you speak,smile,eat , I'm observing. Neither am I stalking you, but I was born with the eyes to pick on just you. I love the way it was rolled, but I must say humans have the habit of stalking,checking,mocking. I doubt it will be big, because from the way I see, it all changed emotions. What the fuck am I talking about, it's just within me with full of questions. I rather should have started a forum, but I think it was stupid. Take the stand and be proud about it, I don't care because you are only destroying you. You are very beautiful, I must admit. I can apologise your bluntness, but how can you forgive yourself? My dear, you have everything that a girl would need, but I still don't understand why you're not hooked on to anything. Believe in you and proceed, you are special in my eyes. Forgive me if I'm doubtful, why do you need to ask so many? It's just within me and nothing else, I swear. Be mindful of whom and what you're asking, I am certainly rude, perhaps. Too bad everything is jumbling up; I Love the way it is. We'll gonna be far away from being true. Jim, I Love you and you know it that well. Let's be strong in whatever things that will come on us and don't give in to anyone. I trust you unless I see things with my own eyes. It's been the third month though . Love Jim

2010-06-15T22:59:00.000-07:00

Every Little Thing.

"When they Knocked you Down just get Back up." Gangsta Loving; Jib's Vagner-Love.

2010-06-11T01:31:00.000-07:00

Feeling Young.

Gamelan camp was a boring cum Awesome. It was boring because there were too much time for Us to not do anything but awesome because I got to go home, shower and continued my sleep at home and will be back in school before 12pm. Cool or what! It was very happening but at the same time mcm sial. It's true what Arfa once told me, "Gamelan banyak Bitches." Standard lahh , malay girls kan. If possible they want to conquer and please all the boys. Eeeii, pompan murah! Mental ahh . Class chalet was supposed to be exciting but because my camp ended late, I didn't get to overnight and had to come on Thursday. It was fine but I had to leave early, that's why. Today's friday and I have nothing in Mind. I vacuum the whole house, mop the whole flooring and folded two piles of clothes and I had to put them into the respective wardrobe. I'm good, and I know that. Ailah came by my house to dye her hair and we watched Niyang Rapik. She had her lunch while watching the movie and now she's sleeping while waiting to get ready for a movie date with Zul. HAHA . I'm pretty sure she's very tired because I swear I know she's damn sleepy ! HAHA . Then I found my picture during Joanne's birthday with the Uniqlo people and I seriously miss them alot ! Date with Jib tomorrow =)

2010-06-04T20:32:00.000-07:00

Nothing on You.

Let's start off here; I'mma be so busy with school that holidays doesn't feel like Holiday no more. Already tomorrow will mark the end of the first week. Which is like Hell! Floorball marathon with my girls at Tampiness West CC, my FASA SAFA bitches! We'll be banging on to Nony's birthday chalet and I swear it'll be sexyy awesome. On monday, I will hit school for Gamelan camp which I assumed that we'll be hitting the metals hard for brand new songs and genre. Then I'mma be home just before the weekends to have my rest. I am needed for Merahans games to capture their moments. That was covered! And hopefully I will have time to sleep for the longest hours possible before school starts. Big shout out to Fuchii Hayley for the Night Life yesterday. I had my Wide angle lens adapter and it's effing Cool. I bought it on time and got discounts like way too much. Okeyy dah, ya'll hit the streets like never before and have fun whenever you can. "Don't waste your Money!"

2010-06-03T02:06:00.000-07:00

2010-05-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

Safe Ground; Just Not

"Kepada Warga Negara, Selamat datang ke Tanah Air." I'm back and yeah I'm happy about it. Penang is effing awesome and ya'll should head there. I'm not going to update about it now. I'll let the pictures do the talking after I've uploaded them completely. I'mma say that it's been the same whether if you're around or not. When I tried to trust you, I tend to believe in things that are logical and I would do Reality Checks frequently. I don't know what's up on your mind because my gut feeling said that you want Bimbs too. I knew it for sure because I am very observant. Because for once you'd known her and I'm gradually happy to see it coming. But, I'm not that sure if you're willing to set it free because you'd have the power to decide. I'm disappointed unfortunely that you never for once share the Cinderalla Stories that you've created with her. Regardless of status or labels you'd named her, nothing would stop me from making stories about the both of you or rather worst making assumptions. Bimbs is obviously beautiful in your eyes but, I am only Just your Halo. I have nothing to impress because that trick is useless. I know I can't be, and I'm pretty sure it'll never be. It's fine when you're with her. But, I will Never like her smile. If I were to assume, I'm very sorry to tell Bimbs, that You are Only Using her. Fuck that yeah! To Bimbs, why are you wasting your time when you already know, or rather the fact is He can't let it go. You are just fucking destroying yourself bitch. Fool! Or rather another thing that I would assumed is, the both of you are so fucking over the rainbow and being together happily without me knowing it. Well, that it fine to me, because for once, I am not going to answer questions from people. Get that Loser and Fucker ?

2010-05-27T05:07:00.000-07:00

Fuggly, Sexy.

Holidays are up and I'm already packed to fly off tomorrow morning. Please don't ask me all the 5W's and 1H. Because I ain't going off to somewhere that far, but just to our Neighbouring country. Second family overseas trip for 2010, the mode of transport is Aeroplane and destination is Penang. Confirm gerek because I'm already in the Holiday mood and I just want to free my mind and ignore whatever things that have been bothering me in Singapore. For once, I want to feel empty and feel the wide space of Freedom. I apologise if I forgot about you's when I come back. School holiday is awesome because when I come back, I'mma be Busy with activities in school. Haha . Peace ahh :D

2010-05-24T06:05:00.000-07:00

Put it in A Love Song.

Ironically it did not happened yet once again. But I'm always happy to watch over you, though I felt that there were some common things that we both did discretly. May be I am the one who thought that I was pretending, but my gut feelings says that you too were pretending. When I was forteen, I merely had it. But for some reasons, it wasn't as much ideal. As when you thought that I was faraway/happy/loved, it was for Not. Laugh it out loud, I supposed. Honest as I am to you ever since the text you gave me that blew this mind/soul/heart away, I can't Let it Go. Honest as I am to you for saying that I'll forget you, I can't Let it Go. Honest as I am to you that made me cry when the text was unreal, I Know I Must Let it Go.But as truthful as I am to myself, Why do I Have to start Seeing? I Love you though, I do. With whom, I still Miss. Xishanites outing to be planned soon; I Miss you dickheads :D

2010-05-22T06:35:00.000-07:00

Baby So Cute !

2010-05-18T04:30:00.000-07:00

Try'na Get Back up.

Our quiet time, your beautiful mind. They're a part of the list. Things that I miss.; Things like your funny little laugh or the way you smile or the way we kiss . What I notice is this, I come up with Something new Every Single time that I sit and Reminisce. You AR

2010-05-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

Let your Soul Gravitate to the Love;

http://www.facebook.com/SHHAAAZAAA

2010-05-14T20:56:00.000-07:00

BF's

Sexy awesome dinner Night.

2010-05-13T23:32:00.000-07:00

Courtesy of Andrea P.

Everyone deserves a Happy Ending.

2010-05-13T06:28:00.000-07:00

Saying Goodbye, You Never asked Me to Stay.

Whenever I thought that I could always be Yours, everything changes. It was subject to change as I've always imagined. But I never knew that it has to turn out brutal. Then, I thought that I was indeed just building castles in the air. When I met you, there was a Hope; But as when I tried to pull it together, it all came trembling down. I don't seem to find the cause of it. But, I'm pretty sure you still Do Love your Girl even more. I'm not saying it just because I wanna, but the fact is, I am Nowhere in place within You. I was all over you, because I knew it all came back. In a blink of an eye, you were gone yet again. I was speechless; No returned calls neither there was a text message. I wasn't in the stage of Desperate, because for Once I knew You'd came to Me. It wasn't the other way though. Creating those lovely sentences and making me fall for you was just for That Moment I thought. I'm not in a hunger for all those actions, but I am more concern to see your Capabilities of a New Changed Man. I'd Love you that's for sure, but Do you think I should? Yes, in you was so interesting to watch because those stares from you could blow anyone away. I'm not in Need, but I'm just curious of what will be the ending of you looking back at me. Definitely I will miss you, because I'm sincere to change and make you realise of How Wonderful You are to me. In my eyes, you're a lot more Beautiful than me. That charming face, with silky-thin lips and that stubborn eyes which always refuse to stop staring is significant. I'll be waiting but I'm still Observing. I'm refering to you, the One I believed that will realised that the words above is About You.

2010-05-10T04:00:00.000-07:00

My Summer Beginnings

It's rather ironic that things came back good towards me. I always thought that I would never have it back. I feel guilty at the start, but when I looked again, I asked "Why would I? I never asked for it to happen. I never did want you to come back. You just did and I'm happy for it." The stares you gave to me was so strong, I was blown away. The time when I wished I never knew the truth, I was the Only One that You would need. Just to catch a glimpse of you, needs a lot of hard work. I did tried my hardest, but I seemed to fall apart. If only you could be truthful previously, I would have make your world into a Beautiful Red Heart Shape. I have always thought that you are the One before; Who could make my Day, The person that I will see often, The type that is Decisive, The kind that I've been Longing, The Right one to Understand with, The Best that would share everything, The Perfect one that would cherish this Love that I want to share with. It was indeed a shattering dream, but I never just forget about it. It was there all along. I'm still Indecisive about a lot of things. I ain't no Bitch to hurt others or rather think about Just Me. Three spots, and I have No idea which is. I only have one in Mind, but I ain't that sure if it wants to be there all along. For what I know, I'm hearing things from you, I like it that way. I've always like it but you just didn't know. Now I'm getting pissed, why do I always have a Huge impact on Others Life? Yes, I appreciate my Strongest Strength. But Why do I have to choose between Numbers? It ain't that easy, something inside wants to scream/cry out, but I know. I don't even Stand a Chance. Though it's unclear now, I'll just proceed to where I'm walking. . .. . .. .. .

2010-05-09T02:51:00.000-07:00

Just Be it.

Kakak Liza's wedding was a successful one though it ate up my three days of sleep but atleast I slept for the longest hours today. Millions of photos were captured from Kakak Dilla's EOS and My Justin B. Abang Pipit was looking great and he's definetly very Ideal =)) Handsome nyeeee. Wak Likin and Wak Jamaliah was certainly delighted and shocked to see their sisters and lovely nieces wearing a matching pair of Baju Kurung with each other. Cantik sungguh ! I must say that the past three days was very tiring but a happening one though I missed out my first class outing. W35E WOHHHHHOOO ! After all the months, Arfa finally told me the truth. It was absolutely shocking to me but I have to swallow it hard whether I like it not. Because it was all said and done, I forgave him for all the things he had done before. "Sick Ass Player Mother Fucker!" Amek Kau! Hahaha =)) Okeyy dah itu sahaja.

2010-05-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Once Indecisive.

Three weeks in school and it's getting boring. Faci's talking bullshits and my brain is on Facebook all the time. Bored with Facebook and I'm over to Editing Pictures. When that was done, I touched on Bloghopping. When I've hopped enough, I tickled my keypad with MSN. When I'm already sick and tired of it. I went to the washroom, groomed myself and start Webcaming =)) Seriously, I need a new pair of spectacles. Prolly a geeky one because I'm on the Lappy for the whole three years on Information Technology ! For some reasons, I've completely stray away from Uniqlo. I need my time to relax at home after spending five days in school. It's very disappointing because I could not commit for work. What's more, I was told that I will be promoted Again next week. Fucked up. I miss that chance, I was so recognised. Arao-san was upset, I could see his tears accumulating but he hold it back. He gave me a hug and I felt that I'm not supposed to leave. I felt so important there. I remembered the first week at work, Everyone started calling me "Malaque", "Pretty Lady", "Redbull Shaza" etc. We greeted with full of energy. We discretly eat during working hours. Count down the seconds during closing. Hizume san's jokes and talkings made everyone enjoy at work. Felicia's feroscious face that made everyone to be serious at work. Gossips and things that are true spread like fire. During break, we will eat together as though there were a Tour. The reaction when we all wore the exact same Uniqlo apparels to promote our products. The time when we sacrifice our precious public holiday for work. CNY was the most hectic, almost all Malays helped out to cover for the Chinese. During stocktake, we came back to clean the store. We can forget the time when Freebies was given to us by our managers.And the time when our store was robbed during operating hours. We can forget Hizume san's farewell. We all cried because he's the joy at work. Who can even forget when each of us had to leave one by one due to personal reasons. I can never forget all of the times that I had spending almost half a year with this Uniqlo Family that I have. I will never forget them : Felicia Valeria Hizume Arao Lily Simon Suriana Khai Peiling Saifuddin Herman Ridzwan Nabilah Ydee Azzah Kam Tat Claudya Albert Adzree Fadhillah Haikel Natra Nabilah Muhaimin Katricia Cassandra Aisyah Khaliesah Mallie Stefanie Mitz Norine Michelle Ayuni Ain Farid Jaslyn Eng Hwee Rita Ryan Matin

2010-04-28T20:59:00.000-07:00

Justin Bieber. '___' In School, not participating !

2010-04-28T06:06:00.000-07:00

Affairs.

Though I may not be the Twenty Four Hours Kinda Person, I am still Twenty Four Hours CONSCIOUS. I still have my Five senses and I am aware of my surrounding. The world is so hi-tech and I can access to whatever that I pleased. I am still very aware of the labels that I am to you. But hey, if You can't wait no more, Just step it up and say "I've moved On". It's never stated in my world that I am throwing no one. Like I've mentioned, Allah send his creations for a reason. I may feel disappointed but still I will be happy with what you would go through. Though it seems that I am important, but somehow or rather you'll know. I'm lost/confused too, but I'm just leading my way to find the Right Way that is. Probably you'd say that I'm PMS or Cranky, but heyy, it's NOT. It's not that I don't care, It's not that I don't Love, It's Never that I wanna Leave. But Love make me Blind and I swear I can't force this Love. Like Selena Gomez said, "It comes Naturally". Like Jason Derulo said, "In my head, I saw you all Over me". Like Justin Bieber said, "I wish our hearts could come together as One".

2010-04-21T20:05:00.000-07:00

Don't Over-Exaggerate.

Maybe it was just me, but some how or rather, I think it's Them. Ever so why do I need to care about what others is feeling. I'm not saying that I don't care, But still, What about me? I love to think about others, care for them and keep them company. Things was rather overboard, but I'm still ok with it. For I know, I'm strong. I don't like Troubles. Especially, troubling others. Don't think about troubling any One of my Homies, for I know Imma Kick Your Dick . Lastly, shut the fucked up and carry on with the light that God has lighted for you. Move on and complete it. If there's anything that is troubling you, find Your Own Way. And if You can't, Leave it behind and Keep on Walking towards the torch that is Shining Bright .

**Sorry, people do get on my Nerves.

2010-04-19T07:11:00.000-07:00

He shows No Mercy.

I believe that Allah had sent his creations done to Earth for various kind of reasons. Some may realised that they would leave an impact to the world for people to remember. For example, Michael Jackson have inspired or rather leaves a great impact to the Music Industry and now that he's gone, people re craving for me. My point is, every individual is down on Earth for a thousand different kind of reason. My thoughts are : It may not be clear to me why am I down on Earth. For all I know/care about, I'm here for a reason and that is to change people's life. It doesn't matter to me if I don't get the happiness I deserve. But the fact is, after I've enter/accompany in someone's life and whatever bullshits happened in between, but after I leave, there will always be "Comebacks". I always will get back myself together and recover. Bu after I had recovered, "Comebacks" occured, all the L.O.V.E && M.I.S.S Y.O.U will always screwed things up. This is Never Fair, because the Man that I still Love/Care about, the Man that I've been dreaming of and the Man that is everthing I've ever wanted that will complete my Life doesn't do any "Comebacks". I am sure that my presence here is to Leave an Impact to someone's Life and make them open up to the Possibilities that may take place and to appreaciate what other's have to offer. As for the man that I Need, I'm sure my presence will make Him Remember that there's No other that can be Like Me. You, AJ ; I Miss You .

2010-04-12T05:57:00.000-07:00

I was Hynotised.

First day of Orientation was Effing Sexy. Thanked God there's my Uniqlo people and we saved each other's Like from Boredoom =)) Not forgetting the current friends and New friends that we saved One Another's Life. It was totally a Hot Day and I was dehydrated that I'm Loosing my Voice Now . '___'

2010-04-08T22:31:00.000-07:00

Whatcha Say ;

Yesterday, 8th April 2010, I went shopping Alone. I was inspired by Feeq's weird behaviour when she came down to town and walk all around, Alone. I shopped like Fuck and felt like a Gundu. But hey, I ain't nothing like those windowshoppers. I went in, saw something that caught my eyes and I went out with atleast a Shopping beg '__' . More or less, I'm ready for school. I bought this and that and went home smiling from ear to ear. Though it could be better if I have someone following me, but it was a fine day. The sky seems moody today and I don't have the strength to wake up early or rather have a day out with my BabyG's. Today is a 'Home Day'. I'm so malas, I feel like continuing my sleep after this. Haha. I need a new phone badly. Like mum's phone is humilating me. Haha. Lucky I always bring J.B everywhere I go. Atleast I look once rich. Haha! If only I get me new phone like soon, then I'll look three times richer. Okeyy Dah lahhhh . . . . .

2010-04-07T21:21:00.000-07:00

Oh Ohh My Gosh.

To the hookers out there, Have a Happy Love Life. To the cowards/jerks out there, Stop Pestering my BabyG's Happy Life. To the Emo's/Sentimental out there, May Allah blessed you with an R'nB/Soul/Pop Life. To my Friends out there, Enjoy and cherish your day with someone you'd wanting to spent with. Appreciate all the little things that you may receive from someone that you'd never expect. Love your own friends and stop talking behind their backs because the Lie hurts more than the truth. Pray and recite prayers so that may Allah protect you from any harm that is coming to you -Insyaallah . To Jib's Tribbiani out there, Have a safe trip and be strong always. It don't matter to me if I got hurt or whatever bullshits is coming for me, because if I'm strong, You're stronger. Be mindful and put yourself as a Priority First. Because it's all about you Now. Have a good Day ahead. To myself there, Enjoy every little moment I had with anyone because School's Starting . . . .. .... .. .. .. . . . ..... ....... . . . . . .. ....

2010-04-07T00:40:00.000-07:00

Read Me, You Can't ; I'm Protected.

"Things are better left Unsaid ; It'll keep on repeating if It's being Let Out. Allah set challenges to see if We're strong to Overcome it. Believe and recite prayers, I've made It. This is by far Not the Most Challenging obstacle that Allah had sent for me. Trust me, this is Just the beginning of my Eighteen year that Allah created me. I'm closer to Him and I know there's more to Come."

"All those crappy shits that we Have to go through, I have to put it aside. Because for Once, I could not live with it. I'm sorry, this is just the way it has to be. I'm not Fearless to see or hear things that is so Inhuman to me. It's something new ; But it's Too New. I'm strong, but facing it, makes me Weak. No, I can't do it Now. I Do Not want to Live with it ; Spooked. "

2010-04-04T06:11:00.000-07:00

I don't want to do this, I can't take it no more. It started to Annoy me more than Ever .I just have to Leave.

2010-04-01T01:41:00.000-07:00

Let's create Magic and it's just the beginning. My Home,is where I Love to Be. I tried my Best.

2010-03-31T18:50:00.000-07:00

Failure, Back then We were.

It's April Now, and the journey to begin school is around the corner. I'm definetely excited to start a life somewhere Fresh. Though I may see familiar faces, that's not gonna stop me from Not being excited. Three straight Off days and I'm feeling Heaven. Tuesday, I met Xishanites: Rausyan Ailah and Faiz. We watched When in Rome and it's a Two Thumbs Up for the director. Haha. Best lahh the Movie. And for the first time Ever, I played computer games. We played Left4Dead. Best Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm seriously gonna heck on the computers when I play Again.

To Arfa Riyan :

I never got to hear from you ever since the last time we had some arguments. Only recently, when you called up and played the guitar and sing, I was surprised. Because I thought you wouldn't want to speak after what had happened. To be honest, at that time, You were rushing me and I thought you could slow down.I'm sorry if I hurt you. I hope you had a great time travelling around the world that I wished I could see.And I couldn't believe my eyes that I got to see you- Unplanned. I was stunned though. See you again and You'll always be My Friend.

To Eddie :

The last time I heard from you was the details for D90. Dude, where'd you Go? I've bought mine and Now you've dissappeared. Like seriously, it's Spooky. I have to tell you from A-Z. And please don't tell me you can't take the heat for O Levels. Seriously serious, appear Now. There's far too many things that I've heard about you from others. Dude, you have to come out Now.

Then I wish that I was alone so that I can keep everything up here. But I guess, it'll be too expose and things are gonna turned worse. And Now I realized that being Eighteen is tough. I wish I was blind so that I couldn't see. You've made a fool otta me.

2010-03-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Sleepless Nights.

Finally home from the craziness times I had with my Xishanites. I only slept for less than an hour. Like what the hell. A wild night, I swear. I saw alot of shocking things that I had never seen in my life and I'm much surprised, I swear. But I had to go through the night with my friends to not remember it. Thanks to all for the fun time and laughter that made me laugh like hell in the middle of the night and early in the morning =)) Pictures are up on Haikal's Facebook. Check it out yaww. It was certainly Gerek eventhough there were more than 10 of Us. But yet we survived the day in One room and four beds =))

2010-03-24T06:02:00.000-07:00

Hussshhhh.

Haha. A hundred/thousand/million/billion/trillion/zillion times to Jibby for using this picture. I'm sorry I just have to show this to the world =)) My apologies to all the friends across the globe for this low profile relationship. I'm so lazy to spread the word around and have you people to find out yourself and curse me . Haha. It's not that I didnt want to tell, but it's just that people are having their own life now and I can understand the busy days. There's more cursing from you people and yeah , a thousand times, I'm Sorry =)) Xishanites Chalet is on the 25th March 2010, Thursday . Meet at Yishun Interchange by 0945 hours and those staying near Ailah , please help her carry things ah. Lastly, Bawak barang yang perlu and MONEYY =))

Trust You put, She I Trust.

2010-03-20T21:04:00.000-07:00

The day I Left You Alone and this what I have for You.

2010-03-19T06:21:00.000-07:00

Under His Light.

Work really sucks today because it's the first day of the Women's Leggings Campaign 2010. Serious shit lahh, Uniqlo is so packed like sardines. Furthermore they are located near to the Fitting room and it's really squeezy. I got a headache and nearly wanted to give up. It's really hectic and I wish Goodluck to those working on the weekends ahh. It's very irritating when people wants to share my fame as the "Good Customer Service" . Like seriously, I was working with the replenishment for the leggings, this Female can happily take over my work while I was directing a customer to the Fittig room. When I turned back to do my work, CB she's doing it when she was suppose to do at the Fitting Room. I was damn pissed because she somehow wants people to praise her la. Irritating Gila .

Little did I know about Jibby and I'm very pleased with what he has to tell. I'm pretty much happy that I'm sharing his light. Macam cool gila, like everywhere I go, people knows. And sometimes I'll teased him saying that "Susah nyee keluar dengan orang National=)) "

I Love to take the path that I have to walk through with you sharing your Light .

2010-03-17T19:24:00.000-07:00

Have a Good Day at Work , Enjoy your School Holidays , Spent your Money Wisely , Have a wonderful Time with Your Loves , Friends , Homies and Family . I got my Weekends off and I'm going to Malacca to do Shopping =)) Jibby's Mine .

2010-03-04T19:43:00.000-08:00

You Are.

Movie of the week, Dear John. A few days back, I watched a movie after work with Albert J Mallie Ng and Adzree Adams. The movie is so sweet that Mallie kept on giggling to herself when they were kissing and she even cried for the happy ending. Mallie is Cute ah until she had to twirl my scarf like a "Singh" because she was Happy. Today is Friday and Blogger Time is incorrect. My God ! On Thurday, I gotta work. As expected, my Bitches and Heroes were not working. So I started work, dragging my feet because I'm not gonna enjoy myself. As I was folding the clothes, tidying up my area. I saw someone. Haha. Like OMG, I saw Jibby! Curse myself for being fat, I didn't run fast enough and he saw me. Haha. The funny thing was, I was "Pretending" to help pack things at the counter, but he still saw me. Haha. Then turned around and ran inside the alteration room. Lucky Han Chong was there. Haha. Had my break with Jibby and he's a Nice person =)) Okeyy dah. Sikit sikit aje. Work ended at 8pm and I met Ailah and Rausyan at 313Somerset. To my surprise, I received a Charles and Keith paper bag and a huge paper bag from Cargo. I was like OMG! What did you guys do? Haha. Then we had dinner at KFC and that was where I go Booms! Thank you so very much to Nabilah Rasol Rausyan Haikal Syasya Nuaimah and Farhan for sharing money to buy me the Sexiest Charles and Keith Clutch and a Yak Pak Sling Beg. Muah ! And as usual, Rausyan Ailah and I went crazy laughing our hearts out. Yeah yeah, I had fun. A full laughter with you morons! Haha. Upcoming events: Kite flying at Marina Barrage =)) I miss you people, meet up soon !

2010-03-01T22:13:00.000-08:00

Ah Yeah Yeah Yeah.

Though everyone is leaving me, I just couldn't live up a Happy time that I used to. Uniqlo felt so quiet without the smile and laughters that you used to fill the shop. And I never failed to greet and tease you each time I see you walking passed by me . It all felt so different but I have no choice but just to continue what I do best. True that Hizume san had already reached Japan and now happy to be there with his family and beloved girlfriend. He's the best man in the house and I'm pretty sure he'll miss all of Us . Sarah and Fatima will be leaving me next. They had done their part in Singapore and now going back to Phillippines to graduate. They're like my sisters, never failed to make me feel so happy and enjoy my day at work. Only Fatima knows how deep my heart is to love someone. After which, Aliff and Asyraf had left Uniqlo for good. Damn , these guys are like my brothers. The heart to heart talk and those laughters we share in the stockroom will always be remembered. Each time I stepped in there to replenish , I will always remember the times we used to share. Now I ain't got no Replenish Buddy No more =( My real bitches, Effa Julaina Stefanie and Norine will be one of which leaving. Soon, I ain't got no one to laugh my heart out and tease someone. It's so unfair that you people are leaving me . How I wish school will start in June . I will Miss Each and Everyone of You . My holidays will soon come to end and working days are giving me some breaks. It's time to have fun and spent money on something worthy. "I can't wait to get my hands on You!" Haha . I can't wait for poly, I can't wait for school and I can't wait for more holidays. I got two days off and I'm sticking my butt at home all day long. Touching my lappy for the longest hours possible. So many things that I gotta update. Ah yeah yeah !

2010-02-27T01:33:00.001-08:00

The Joys in My Life , Uniqlo Ion .